bell'slifestory

you will never understand.

2011-05-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

can u please put some effort. do u know how many times perday that i always think of you. i guess more than i think about myself. do you know how everytime after we went out, i will go back in a sad mood and mostly end up crying. do you know if i can wish for anything in this world, one of it is i wish i will never be far apart for you cause im scared im not strong enough. do you know i never cry this much for a guy as i cry for you. do you know that im really scared that one day if we are really not meant for each other, do you what i always ask myself? i always ask myself what should i do? can i ever forget you. do you know, i always long and miss you. all i want to do is to see you. all i want to do is to ask you what you are doing, with whom you with, do you love me? do you care about me and do you miss me?

Do you ever felt all the things that i felt about you? do you know i never care much about a guy then i care about you? do you know what the things that always come into my thoughts involving you? i always think that if one day if im really not meant for you, i want you to be a successful person in life living happily with your wife and family. i always wish your always next to me so that i dont have to miss you that much. do you know, everything that i do i always feel like telling you. do you know, because i love you so much when people ask me to cerita about you, i dont know what to tell cause everything that i see in my eye is one perfect guy that i want as a husband.

do you ever felt that about me? i guees your not. even though i always ask you to this and that, there's always reason for it. i will never ask you to do it if it is not good for you. but you dont even listen to me.

2days in a row!

2011-03-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

damn! i think it is because of the rain kot, yeah, rain rain please go away, your making me raining inside too! goshh. gosshh!. byk sgt pk kot. need to buang some thoughts that are not necessary for me to think right now. tough! be tough! yeah, you can do it! you did it before, why cant you do it again right? its not possible. i just need some clear mind for awhile. Allah is really testing me, suddenly i found out that the necklace that i always wear since form4 or 5 is missing it's pendant! :(. so sad. force myself not too cry. waaargghhjhhhhh. i treasure this necklace so much kot. my grandpa gave it to me and byk gile memories with it. dia mcm dh part of me, dh harungi with me all the unstable emotions, happiness and all. warghhhh! sedey gile. aihh. sbar. sbar. sbar. now, i only know the word sbar! some of the stuffs that you told me really make me sad. you prefer other people to have me. you know what, you shouldnt say that. funny, why cant you just accept that sometimes not everything will turn out bad. hurmm. maybe you dont really want me kot. tak pe lar. :)

what am i suppose to do if i miss you?

2011-03-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

this weekend smua org balik rumah diaorg. rindu gile kat mama and abah. i miss you too bdk bushuk!. damn, i miss everyone. all i can do is cry. i wanna go back home. tak pe lar. sbar je lar kot. everyone has their own problems i guess. sabar nabila sabar. sabar sikit je lagi. Allah is testing you, sabar je lar.

God, please hear my prayers.

2011-03-09T06:10:00.000-08:00

i dont know why, but i feel so tired. all i want to do is cry and scream. nak sangat cakap yang im so tired. like really tired. dah la banyak bnde tak study lagi. somehow, i know your testing my patience. hurmm. like really testing it. can the time freeze for awhile because i think i need to catch some breath. when i feel like giving up, the only thing that keep me going is my parents. i miss them so much. . i need my strong will back. like really need it. i guess when you feel like the world is falling apart, you should always think about things that can keep you moving on. like now, i really need you guys. i want a hugg from you mama. i need that motivational talk that abah always give me. i need you guys . :'(. life would be much simpler if only you guys are always beside me.

tired

2011-02-18T06:39:00.000-08:00

masuk kete je bile drive sorang nnges. nabila tak de kje lain ke? asyk nnges je! tolong lar, bncinye! bnci bnci! senang gile ar nnges this week. damn easy. hurmm. :(

sgt takut.

2011-02-17T06:09:00.000-08:00

asal ek, tak sedap hati lar. nape ni? takut sangat. hurmm. takut takut. takut sangat sampai rase nak nnges. mama, tak nak balik UM. please. penat lar tmpt tue. penat sgt. tinggal 3 hari je lagi. OMG! kalau boleh putar balik mase dh lame dh buat. hurmm. nak final dh. yup, final. campur sem 1 and 2. serious penat and banyak! macam mane ni. dh lar integrated. soalan pun xpernah tgk and tak pernah tahu mcm mane nak jwap. GOD, please let it be easy. tolong lar. saye tak nak pergi supplement and lagi mintak jauh jauh jauh sangat sangat is repeat year. God, tolong lar. 1st year gile memenatkan and stress. hurmm.

God, please help me.

2011-02-16T05:39:00.000-08:00

God, please help me clear up my mind and my uneasy heart. let by gone be by gone. i know im gonna cry and have unstable emotion once in awhile but im letting this go. i know he is better with her. i really hate you when you like her you but you didnt tell me. cakap je lar. xyah nk simpan. paling bnci that part. xtak nak cakap better i move on.

i know that one day, i'll be okay. im stronger than you think. i did make a promise dlu, i told myself that the last guy im going to fall in love is going to be my husband, i guess my mistake kot. never get yourself attach. xper, i will learn.

after this my heart akan jdi keras macam batu!. haha. i will ask my parents to choose for me, they know whats the best for me. i believe in their berkat. berkat ibu and ayah boleh bawa kebahagian smpai mati. i always hold to that.

btul cakap jawahir and his dad, dont fall in love coz it hurts. i should learn that. anis pn ade cakap kalau boleh dia pn xnk couple coz nnti susah je.

i have my supportive family and friends that i really adore. they will help me. as long as you pray, insyaAllah God will help you to the right path. you just have to believe.

ego.

2011-02-15T10:02:00.000-08:00

woke up, then, terpk. i mimpi about someone. ade 2 pictures in 2 frames. one with the old potret and the other with the new picture. keep on wondering why did i dream about that. then, opened up fb through phone, i scrolled down the newfeed and suddenly i realised that he removed me. yup, removed me. okay, i did make you upset i guess or dalam otak dia pk like this bebai gile minah nie, dh bpe kali dh dia wat mcm ni kat aku and you are really tired of this. so, i was like wow. removed. 1st time kne removed gan org. hahaha. i guess now only i understand the feeling of being removed from someone's friends' lists.

pk balik, dia removed nmpak sgt tak kisah kan. woke up from my bed head to the fridge cri makanan. reheat pie yg jmpe dlm fridge. pastu call jawahir. he removed me! jawahir xbgus sgt in this kind of situation. dia xske dgr cter about boys, then. at that time i really miss liyana alot! she always knows whats the best advice to give me in such situation. dia slalu handle me dlm bnde mcm ni. cant call her. can only fb her. sdey nak mati!.

pastu, right away call yen and hanisha. ckp trus jdi kuar. mula2 malas. hurmm. konon nk kmas bilik yg amat bersepah tue. pastu, tell them the whole story. the thing is i cant cry at all. i dont feel a thing tp just blur blur sket. pastu, kuar2 pastu diaorg blk umah tlg kmas bililk. haha, thanks sbb tlg kmas. im darn lazy! :D.

pastu, pas diaorg balik mama fetch me dri rumah, pastu ambik aiman and bawak g beli makanan.mama kuar left me and my bro in the car. i told my bro. aiman, bla bla bla... nape dia removed me? i was angry, tp asal plak dia yg removed. one question keeps coming out from my
mind. my bro hold my hand tightly. tak pe nabila tak pe. you will find some other guy. then, dgn mcm tue je i started crying. terer gile my bro! he did it. he made me cry. all day long i felt uneasy. i started crapping. when i like someone i dont look at their faces and money. i look for the heart. why cant he accepted that. then, my bro said your a good girl. i know. you have a good heart but he just didnt see that. he said, in life nabila we must move on, bnde yang happened to us we must move on and let go. sbbkn i dont know how to let you go. i keep on continue being your friend. i keep on coming back eventhough pttnye i should do this long time ago d. there's a part of me hoping for you to change but you didnt. i cant do anything anymore.

then, mama masuk. asl nabila nanges. i diam. haha, my bro said. mama, im sorry i've made her cry. i was like pndai gile my bro back up. huhu. then, balik rumah. went to my room and keep on crying. i guess i need to cry to let it go. i have this heart of cepat xmarah, cepat sdey, cepat mngalah bile i care for someone. i just will like tak pe lar. tak de pape tue. hurmm.

pastu, kuar my room nk makan dinner gan mama. my mom was like asl? i mcm xde pape lar. nape nnges? xde pape. keep ulang byk kali the same question. pastu, last2. nabila gaduh gan bf nabila ke. at that time, mcm nk gelak!. nabila bf pn xde ma. owh, kay.

the end of my sad but happy life story. i guess kalau u did that, nmpak sgt lar dh xksah. so, lgi lar xyah pk dh spptnye. tp sometimes i just miss you but i noe you wouldnt feel the same since you have her d. ksah la plak.

something to share about guys from what my bro told me. laki dia akn kutuk bestfren dia tp diaorg takkn back stab them. once back stab that relationship is over. i dont know how true is that. :)

random facts :)

2011-02-13T08:31:00.000-08:00

random facts. sometimes it works for me but sometimes it doesnt. :). i realise that i need to be trigger to be actually funny, perky and fun. haha. so, maybe surroundings do count on creating your personality. :)

2011-01-21T06:33:00.000-08:00

when your facing problems, dont rush on things. bersihkan hati dahulu and start on praying. :)

2011-01-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

boys and their egos! :)

basic entrepreneurship class

2011-01-07T02:36:00.000-08:00

new elective class for this sem regardless of english. okey, basically the lecturer taught us about how to run your business later on and all. so, just now she explained about we need to take a risk if you want to be success in it . she gave this one example, about a guy or a girl confessing his/her love to the person he or she falls too. she said, if the girl or boy is inside the class, dont be embarrassed to confront her and tell her how you feel and ask her or he whether they can get together and get to know each other better. you see, teringat plak psal bdk tue. sengal. hahaha. i was laughing my ass out! like everyone was kay. :D

the thing is she said that mostly people will not do that coz they scared of being embarrassed. suddenly she asked, actually to whom you are embarrass of? is it your friends? are scared of what they gonna think about you? Are their thoughts really do effects you? pelik kan? hahaha. i was thinking like kisah plak lar orang cakap pe. hahaha.

the lecturer said if you never confront you might not know and you will never know. so, basically what i had learned from that class was if you never try you will never know. and once if that person falls for another person you should never regret even so most probably you might coz you yourself didnt take any risk at all.

so, im telling this coz i know you read my blog. honestly to tell you the truth. i know you like her. if you do, you just go for it. hey,it seems like you guys are the perfect match after all and who cares of what i think. you just need to tell me and i move on. thats the easiest part of all.

life dont have to be that complicated. im a simple girl. i like to do simple things and i find that every simple small or minute things that you do to people might effect others. so, just tell me. and dont get scared if i move on coz you have her. she is better for you.

a little bit better

2011-01-07T00:13:00.000-08:00

after class. now susun gigi time. :)

yeah, finish class at 4. thanks to the new english teacher, but ,maybe next week we will be finishing at 6. but for now im gonna keep on smilling. :). weekends pls be good to me. :)

is it a good day? hurmm.

2011-01-06T01:29:00.000-08:00

okey, today i woke up as usual. not usual lar. i cant wake up. :(. spttnye nk bgun at 6.00 nk study but i cant. sdey. :(. so, bgun kul 7.30. ambik ko! tdo 7 hours and 30mins! bpak ar. mcm bdk2. sbb over here mcm raining je. so, sjuk, so susah nk bgun. nak wat macam mane. aihh. pastu, kelas smua as usual. kay, pastu ptg abes at 3 something like that.

just only teringat kena wat kad matriks. haha. i've lost mine again! damN! if i ckp kat izwan ni msti dia gelak lgi! :(((. kat uitm dh pernah hilang, now over here plak. sedey gile. :(((. cari mcm nak rak dunia. actually, bukan itu saje hilang. ade lain jgak. mcm baju 2 helai and sport shoesss! my new sport shoess! sdey gile. :(((. now, i cant jogg d. lagi ar sdey.

back to wat kad matriks tdi. sakit hati gile ade ke diaorg xtahu mcm mne nk wat. pelik pastu kne g byk placessss! ARgghhh. xksah dh. aslkn i got mine d.. yippppppiiiii! :D.
thanks from the help of my friends kat sni. bdk passum dua org. aihh. baek diaorg tmankn. :DD
rsenye kne blnje diaorg.huhu.

pastu, balik bilik. tiba2 tergaduh gan roomate. :(((((. sdey gile. serious sdey. hurmm. i dunnoe how to feel lar nowdays ade je xkne. like everyday ade je xkne. nak nangis boleh tak? :(((((
penat lar macam ni. aihh.

last week pn wasnt a good one pn, suppose to meet my parents but they didnt come except for abah. i miss my mom actually. hurmm. rase nak nnges sekarang. i can only type it out je but really cant do it here. :'(((((. pastu, i would like to tell someone about things yg i wat every single day. but dunnoe who d. hurmm. so, i can only type it here.

so, actually today wasnt a good day after all. :(. i hope tonight we make it up. jgn lar marah. aku bukannye kisah klu ko xtahu. aku pn xtahu. so, xyah ar marah. hurmm.

nak susun gigi pn dh xde mood. aihh. :((

hari moodyku.

2011-01-05T02:08:00.000-08:00

okay, arini bgun pagi2 not in a good mood. aihh, i dont know why. i feel so sick. sedikit flu and headache, but i act feel sicker inside. serious feel sick of everything. i donnoe why. but, i just cant stand it anymore. so, from now on i dont want to have any social life with those yg i xprnh jmpe face to face. im referring it to facebook. sket2 bkk fb, pastu sakit ati. sudahhh. sye xnk sakit hati dh. maybe arini lebih sedikit sbb tgh pms. but still. xleh mcm ni. i need to be positive at all times so that i can focus on my study. pagi2 bkk hp tgk2 calender dh 5TH. OMG! its 5Th d. damn! tinggal btul2 1 month until exm. mmg btul2 dkt exm gile. so really need to focus from now on. pape pn focus! i need to get good results for my parents. need to be stronger each day. motivate myself every single day. korang nnti msti pelik, karang tiba2 i will text all my bestiess from now on. haha. i will do that. dh lar susah nk jmpe. contact pn dh jrang nowdays. so, i should do that since fb dh xde. so,. no social life. :).

arini kaki sakit gile. dh ar jln jauh. hurmm. pastu, tdi almost nk jatuh kat toilet. licin gile. arghh! :(. nsib baek xjatuh karang mmg xleh jln mne dh. arghh! TDAKKK! i need to walk to medic fac smua. lately, belajar through study group mcm easier sket to study. huhu. :)
so, spending time wif my frens kat sni sket. to tell u the truth suddenly i feel like nk SHOPPING! OWHHH, TDAKKK! tolong jgn. tp shopping blog still can. tgk ar mcm mne. :)

password for fb dh bg kat haizan to take care of my account. sbb karang slalu on sgt. pastu, xleh nk stop. lgi2 time weekends. boring duk umah fb je kje. so, klu xde fb ni xyah tahu psal org sgt. mlas nk ambik tahu. baek g tgk tv. :)

from what i've seen. God has put me in this position for me to reflect back all my wrong doings and ask taubat from him. nak tahu. mama cakap, g mintak taubat kat Allah. thats what she said. mungkin banyak sgt dosa. i always wonder why i have so much probs. its act bcoz God wants me to be closer to him.

if you ask me, if i were a boy, spe i will choose as my wife. someone who is slalu jge diri dia properly so that boys cant get to her easily. thats what i always thought and thats what i always tell the boys. kenapa korang suke perempuan mcm nih? sometimes im referring it to me. huhu. guys just donnoe that, the girls yg kdang2 alim2 gile2 tue lar lawa actually. just that they never really show it like the other girls like you see kat luar tue.pakai je seksi smua tp lawa sgt ke actually?

sudah, ape aku merepek ni. kay. haha. tulis lar pjng2 pn nabila not org bce pn. haha. thats the best part. :). dh fb xleh bkk.blog pn jdi lar.

now, my head is spinning of this song. " pack ur bags and walk away. that was nothing i could say ".

da.end.for.now.toodles.then. :)

2011-01-03T02:35:00.000-08:00

Shooottt, sakit. kakiku melecittt. :((. dh lar kne jln jauh this week. dang it!

imissthissong

2010-12-30T05:53:00.000-08:00

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

now, i dont really know how to express myself anymore. i just know how to type it out. dang!

sengalness

2010-12-30T01:38:00.000-08:00

jealousy strikes.

2010-12-29T01:22:00.000-08:00

okay, im jealous of those who have boyfriends and can celebrate their new years together. shoot, im 20 and i dont even have one~! arghh, i dont think i'll be celebrating it this year. how sad. how sad. your turning 20 and you dont have a boyfriend and you dont even celebrate new year~!!! . sedeynye. :(((((((((

learning

2010-12-25T05:32:00.000-08:00

you need to know where you stand in someone's heart, so that you wouldnt make the same mistake all over again.

sometimes

2010-12-24T23:22:00.000-08:00

sometimes, i think that you deserve a better person then me. thats what i always tell myself.

inspiration

2010-12-24T03:00:00.000-08:00

i need inspiration, i need someone to make me smile and laugh when i feel like breaking down. sometimes, i just need that. you no need to be always there but just once in awhile when i feel like telling how i feel and talk to me anything rather than just dentistry. kadang2 boring jgak, my life dikelilingi oleh dentistry students je. serious they are fun, but i need other that dentistry. huhu. im trying hard each day. tido pn dh sekejap. really am trying hard. i dont think much about fun anymore just that i want to pass and i feel like going back home. i miss those people at home who always care for me. imissyou guyss.

2nd sem.

2010-12-22T02:58:00.000-08:00

Im in second sem already peeps. i hope it will be a better one than last sem. i hope there's no trials and tribulations that i cant face it. God, please go easy on me. I need to focus. Focus more than ever. Everyday i fight the urge to not to study. Everyday i'll try to study like there's no tomorrow insyaAllah. i just need the strength to face all of this. i need the brain and strength. wow, thats really hard. aihh. i just gonna keep on trying and praying. Hoping for the best from God.

First day of Second sem, kena basuh by the senior. He told us to study hard. Second sem is not for playing anymore. Its for you to focus. Like every year second sem is the most important sem. Datang2 je class dpt timetable. In 6 weeks time exam 2.1 is coming. thats the most important exam. you need to pass so that you can enter finals. if not you dont even stand a chance. im going to study hard for me. pls pray for me. aihh.

p/s: apa2 yang berlaku kat kite ade hikmahnye. sometimes, God didnt answer our wishes because He wants us to ask more and be closer to him. He wants to see whether we are sincere in asking it or not. As long as you try your hardest and pray. InsyaAllah, Allah grant the wishes
You just need to believe.

im done with it

2010-12-18T03:22:00.001-08:00

im done with it. im stronger than i look. i will try my best next sem. im going to change. no more talking nonsense. my future and dreams rely on my next sem. dont ever give up.

First thing to do : ask forgiveness to Allah and everyone.

so, to anyone that is reading my blog. im totally sorry if i ever done anything that hurt your feelings or anything that i did before that is still bothering you guys until now. im trully am sorry. i'll try not to repeat it again. sorry sorry sorry people.

stressss!!

2010-12-14T06:51:00.000-08:00

shoot lar, why lar maxilla 1st molar susah sgt nk carve, cepat lar habis. i couldnt stand seeing you anymoreeeeee. :(. arghhhhh, sakitnye hati wat bnde nihhh. asl lar your occlussal susah sgt nk carve. dh ar ade 3 roots lgi ar mati akal nak carveeeeeee... damn you maxilla 1st molarr..

p/s : xyah bce this post pn xper, bebel sorang2 sbb bngang sgt. huhu. :)

i believe in Him

2010-12-13T08:36:00.000-08:00

i didnt cry if your worrying about that, hey. its your choice. for me, im leaving it everything to God. God always knows the best for us. Maybe, God met us for awhile so that we can learn something from each other. God, has already plans good things for both of us. If your already find my replacement which i can see that, its okie. you no need to hide it pun. im gonna be fine. i believe in Him, he'll show me other roads and path to take then. He always does. :D. In my prayers, i always pray that i hope Allah will only open my heart to my jodoh. So, its okie. if your not mine maybe your somebody else. :). And i think you'll be a good one to who ever she is in the future.

InsyaAllah, as long as we believe and pray everything will turn out well. :)

few trips of mine. :)

2010-12-11T09:02:00.000-08:00

hey, my name is Raffar. Im 1 and half years old. :). i love to eat bread. And i have 4 older sisters and 2 big brothers above me. Soon, i'll be having a younger sister. wow, i cant wait. :D. Above me, is my 2 and half year old brother who really do like to bully me. :(.

this is my brother, can you see the resemblance. huhu. :). i love him alot. he's just 1 year older than me. thats, why i love him. :). even though, i always kne bully by him. he hates giving me a ride. he said, im heavy. he cant cycle if im sitting at the back. so sad.

Then, one day. Kak Nabila came to rescue. She trick my abang by pretending to bring me back home. i even salam everyone to go back with her. actually i do like to go back with her. When, all my sisters want to take me back, i refused to go back. i like being held by Kak Nabila ( gile perasaan. :D). my abang cried so loud until i cant bare hearing to it, ouuuuccccchhhh. Suddenly he felt like crying plak when Kak Nabila came to get me. Daaaaa... always bullied me but in the end love me dlm diam2. hahaha. i guess thats what siblings do. they dont want to express their feelings. Then, Kak Nabila gave one condition to my abang, if Kak Nabila let me stay, my abang needs to give me rides more often. Out of nowhere, my abang eagerly said yes. he would as long as Raffar can stay beside me. aaaawwwww, after hearing that, i feel like crying.. :(. he loves me. he loves me. he really do. :). im so relieved to hear that. Then, he cycled and let me sit at the backkk.. At last.. :D

here a picture, that i forced the abang to smile. damn kejam. hahaha. :D. bdk ni masam sgt. chill lar. nonit to be that serious. :) bdk lagi kot. :D

i love you little kid even if we only meet for while. :)

P/s: cter ni ade byk ditokok tambah. haha, act xigt sgt wat happen. but, the point is abg dia nnges gile2 xnk bgi i bring the sister balik. hehe, the funny part was, bdk kecik even salam the mother and sat in the car d. boleh plak. xde dia kisahh. bile abg dia ambik bru dia nk. so sweet right? aihh, msti rapat gan abg dia nnti. :).

life

2010-12-10T06:51:00.000-08:00

fairytales

2010-12-10T04:17:00.000-08:00

i just wanna learn how to love, fall and love again. maybe thats all life is all about. :)

for some reason, if i never learn how to love and fall i might not gonna find my true everlasting love. :P

my prince charming is out there searching for his half soul. And his half soul is me~!:)

how to get approval from Mama. :)

2010-12-07T07:15:00.001-08:00

Mama and I watched Wanita Hari Ini if im not mistaken, then we saw Ashraf Muslim. He was on air for changing to become a more religious person. then, the conversation starts.

Me : wah, handsomenye dia. :)

Mama : i like him. Dah lar handsome, beragama plak tue.

Me : in my heart goes like, " eh, mama xpernah suke the guys that i like. normally we will argue saying, eeeyy, xhandsome pn. dia ni lagi handsome and so on.... bla, bla, bla.

Mama : Kalau macam dia mama suke. Nak cari pn kne ar cari macam this type of person. Jangan ar cari laki yg harapkn handsome je, agama tak de.

Me : owhh, kay mama. my heart goes like " since when we ever talk about BOYS~!! nak je cakap to her that im not into handsome guys pun, i dunnoe why. but, im just not. as long as the person have good heart thats all i care about.

but, i like youuuu, gossshhh ur so handsome. :D

rare occasion. ;)

2010-12-07T06:29:00.000-08:00

naughty kids running around at my mom's garden. they love to catch the fishes in my mom's pond. end up soaking wet in the end. they are really smart, they caught the fishes without using any net. they caught them with some plastic that they found in the kitchen.smart but naughty. always asking for money. one of them, even sang me a song with money in it. spoil brat. always think about money~!! so not goodddd. :)

forced me to take them to 7e, bdk kecik btul. they like to spend money on things like stupid battle card. dh lar expensive the cards. collect them then throw them away. no wonder my aunt move to a place where's the nearest shop is like 8 km away. haha. but, they make my day. :)

rare occasion, i found it very fascinating and peculiar at the same time. :). picnic in my new house. hell of fun with small cousins around playing and running non stop, my family, aunt and uncle and grandma too. ;). i just love family day. :D

do what ever you want

2010-12-03T20:35:00.000-08:00

do what ever you want, i dunwan to know anymore. go away.

:'(

2010-12-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

i cant sleep. so, i started to cry. cry again. please stop. there's nothing much you can do by the way. it just happen. we cant control this type of feelings. i just want to sleep and forget everything that happened. why did i do that? why did i read? why? :'(. maybe im just stupid and xpernah belajar from mistake. so, i finally understand. i want to be invisible and heartless please. :'(

change

2010-12-03T08:23:00.000-08:00

i just want to grow old with my parents by my side and lots of adopted kids. :). but, my parents will kill me if i tell them. haha. life is so unpredictable. im not that open person. its hard for me to be opened to someone new. i dunnoe why, but it is hard. kesian gile wif ppl yg nk kawan wif me. i just dunnoe how to treat , react and talk to them. im scared it will turn out different way. no wonder semua org kata i sombong. im not that same person anymore. im so so sorry you guys. im not the same person i used to be. :(

i realise something

2010-12-03T07:40:00.000-08:00

i finally get it, the things that you asked me, the things that you tell me. i finally get it. i'll be strong enough for all, i always do even it is hard in the beginning. i will. i finally understand.

random again. :)

2010-12-03T06:50:00.001-08:00

im bored, and while waiting for my movies to buffer i shall tell you guys about things that i truly want in life. that doesnt mean that i can get them. :)

1. Porsche cayenne

my dream car. :). as if i have lots of money to buy one. i would like to own this when i have my own family later on. :)

2. owning my own chocolate shop

weird right, but i seriously heart choc alot~! :). a dentist - to - be wants to own a chocolate shop. haha, funny but i love them so much. one thing about choc that is that when your sad and feel miserable about yourself, the only thing that can cheer you up faster and efficiently is choc. they will always be there whenever your sad, moody or happy. they will never let you down like others. they will stick by you like a glue. :).

3. do you see a map?

haha, sorry, i cant find a map that is clear enough for you guys to see. this is a Europe 's map. i would like to go there one day. if possible, i would like to do my master there. :). i want to travel all around the world, and the first place i would like to start with is europe. :)

random. :)

2010-12-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

random. :)

2010-12-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

whatsoever

2010-12-02T09:26:00.000-08:00

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in
On a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family
All dressed in pastel

And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

This is surely not
What you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say:

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

Fun gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march

And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems I was uninvited
By your lovely bride-to-be

She floats down the aisle
Like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me, don't you?

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

2010-12-02T03:19:00.001-08:00

i dun think i can see eye to eye with you anymore. skrg tgur sket je msti nak gaduh. rilex ar.

flowing

2010-12-01T03:20:00.000-08:00

i cry more often nowadays,i dunnoe why. but it just happened. easily feel sad and easily cry. why is it my heart is so unhappy? hurmm. i wish i could smile like before. lately, my smiles oso macam fake. susah gile nk smile skrg. i think i lost my happy soul. now, it only full with sadness and sorrow. i wish i was heartless and invisible pls~!!

dramas

2010-11-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

it has been ages since i watched one, now im watching its started with a kiss. taiwan drama, bile i watch that drama, teringin gile jdi housewife duk kat umah jge anak2 and cook for family, sibuk pasal being a mom. mcm fun gile. mcm xstress lngsung. aihh, nvm lar. its just a movie i guess. but., she's damn energetic being a mom. funny, but i like it. :)

One night on the train part 2

2010-11-28T22:51:00.000-08:00

akhirnye, i explode. asl lar explode dalam train. during the study week and exam week i gile gile pretend that im strong. cant cry need to focus and all. last2, explode jgak. seriously penat gile study macam orang gile even during my holidays and weekends when other people are enjoying themselves. tak pernah study teruk mcm ni and yet still xleh wat. i probably get e or f for all the papers. susah gile dentistry kat UM, even tougher that medic, at least you guys have alot of free time, im fully pack every single day. 8 papers in 5 days are not fun at all. gile penat study macam orang gile for 5 days. only GOD knows how i felt. pastu, bile gtau orang i cant do it tak de spe nk percaya especially my parents. aihh, i dunwan to break your hearts but its the truth kot. tak de spe nk dgr. aihh. i can only tell to my kakak roomate sorang tue. dia je pham because she dh face this thing. semua orang akan kata korang ni tak study ke, padahal study macam nak rak dunia. aih, i got another exm for next sem, if i cant make it that one, mintak simpang byk2. i cant take final exm. then, need to repeat 1 whole year. arghhhhh. tolong lar jgn. penat gile nk kne study the same thing all over again. :((. so, i will change when the next sem comes. i'll be stronger and become super duper nerdy. skrg pn dh ckup nerdy. serious penat. even, my aunty yg doctor pn even pity seeing me studying. dentistry in UM is a silent killer. you will never know unless u take it and face it yourself.

One night on the train part 1

2010-11-28T22:34:00.000-08:00

alot of things came out of my mind, during that long journey. i wish im invisible and heartless. i read your blog btw, replying mine. hey,im really sorry. i know you have alot of things need to be done and all. its okie lar if your busy at times and replying late. i need to give some space anyway. im just being inconsiderate. i want to tell you, tak payah lar layan i dah sangat. bile i stress i banyak kerenah. it would probably kill your mood anyway. you pun mesti under alot of pressurekn. tak pe lar. kalau its because of the post yang u bace thats why you text me everyday during my exam week xpayah lar. i xnk menyusahkn orang. i dunwan to be a pain in the ass. the last statement tue, i was angry. damn angry. your still someone to me even if im not. yang peliknya, how can you react normally texting me eventhough u've read my blog.mesti sakit hatikn. so, tak yah nak susahkn diri dh. kesian you mesti penat layan i. im so so sorry menyusahkan you selama ni.

things that i do

2010-11-18T02:40:00.000-08:00

maybe you dont see this but im trying to avoid you. im sick and tired of waiting for your text. sometimes, when you are with your friends pun you still replied late. excuse me, not like your in class. as i think back. you used to tell me your friends are the most important person in your life. so, it shows that im not. for what im wasting my mood to text you but in the end you will not reply it or you will reply late. ala, kawan lain boleh je reply cepat. so, in end xyah text xde sakit hati. am i right? pastu, tiba2 bile aku xtext terhegeh-hegeh nak text tanya khabar semua. malas plak nak reply. replied them in harsh way, pastu rase bersalah. hurmm.

it hurts me the most that, your not spending your time with me in my study week. i told you before study week is like im going to get a little bit insane, moody semua. but, no. you make it worse. just replying my text pun susahkan. and you are orang paling sibuk i tahu. fine lar. you dont have time for me anymore. not like my last study week. i rase lame2 ni, kite will not even contact each other.
in the end. jangan menyesal bile i really open up my heart to someone else. because at that time, you cari balik pun i takkan layan. sudah2 lar my heart you sakit.

F.R.I. E. N. D. S

2010-10-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

i dun give enough credits to my frens. so, here's the post.. :). i love you guys to bits and pieces even though i dun say it out loud. but, you guys are the choc top to my cakes, ice creams and everything sweet. :). thats how important you guys in my life. thanks for always being there. :D

lovvvvvveeeeeee yaaaaaa.. missssshhhhhh yaaaa. :)

forever alone

2010-10-24T02:30:00.000-07:00

do you remember this? i miss the old times. the time we used to spend vc and wc with each other. but now, i barely have time for you. as, time passes by, you will forget me. for all i have in remembering you is all the songs that we used to sing together.

where is your guardian angel? where is your call? the only exception?

and for now, all i can see is you are already starting to forget me. i feel pain deep down inside when i come to my senses that your not the same person as we met before.

i miss you.

terharu

2010-10-16T04:28:00.000-07:00

okay, basically, got this one guy in my class that likes me. he's not bad actually but i just dont like like him je thats all. the think is, dia buat i feel terharu. okay, u've heard about the gossip2 about me like semua orang tahu. even, pas performance ktaorg kat senior's freshies' nite pn, ade org tgur tanya btul ke i ade gaduh. okay. igtkn cter tue dh basi. but, its okay sbb byk gile gossip this week yg dpt cover up my gossip. hahahaha. thanks Allah. :D Back to the main story here, he actually do really care about me. he knows that i gaduh gan orang smua, but he still mcm likes me and he even told hyzan ( my roomate btw that i truly adore ), yang nanti i change lar. dia sruh hyzan advise i and all. hyzan told me that he spoke to her like he still care for me. serious terharu. dalam kecoh kecoh yang aku salah pun still ade orang still suke aku. wah, i mcm baek plak lar mamat ni kan. and everyone though that we have something special. like hello, havent you seen my fb about me. sye hati batu and im not available. adui, the chinese ske sgt ejek i with him. bile he changed his clothes from wearing baju melayu to baju kemeja, one of my chinese's frens asked me, are u going out later? i was like? what? then, he said i saw him change his clothes. i though you guys are going out. i was like how many times do i need to tell you guys, i dont have anything special relationship with him. then, they laugh. okay. esk tue ejek lagi. bile sruh my frens find me a boyfren diaorg sebut name dia, kte u guys padan ape? i was like. okay. change topic. so, here i will like to conclude that your not bad after all. thanks for still believing in me and thanks for always asking me to smile in class whenever you see me being too stress up. :). patutnye orang xtak tahu about us, sbb dia mne pernah tgur dlm kelas. tapi lagi bagus xtgur. karang lagi byk cter.

if only i get the chance

2010-10-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

when i miss you, i can only tell it to myself. i can never get the chance to tell u again that i really miss and love you. you dont know that even you broke my heart for several times, i still love you. i wish we can be like before, but it would never happen i guess. your life has just started, you'll gonna find someone much better than me. although my life is so tiring and hectic, i still find time to miss you. that is how much i love and care for you every single day.

tough week

2010-10-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

okey, what a great week. i've made alot of mistakes in only in 1 week. i've made my classmates angry at me. hurmm. im really sorry. sometimes, i do things without thinking. sometimes, i can be too over react. no wonder before entering this week, my heart tells me not to talk or get to close with people. if you get too close. you tend to make mistakes. if your too far, people will say u sombong. kay, i kena both la kn. sorry i xtgur everyone at the lecture hall that often. i just tegur the one's that i rapat with. im really am sorry. i need to change to make them not to dislike me.
i think i dh masuk their list of kne kutuk slalu. like seriously, ramai gile kutuk i this week, from what i've heard. even, the boys know about this. i gaduh wif few girls but boys pn tahu. nmpak sgt my name mmg dh tercemar. great. its okey lar. im learning to change pun.

things that need to be changed b4 msuk UM this week, like seriously, xnk blk. :(

1. dont talk too kasar with them
2. smile more often
3. tgur them when i see them, but dun talk much, later gaduh lagi.
4. change my attitude
5. dun lepak in their rooms too much. i dun think they like it either
6. mintak maaf with everyone
7. keep my opinion to myself ( i tahu, UM smua bdk pndai2 )
8. learn to dance~!, and im bad in this, msti diaorg bengang. :(
9. study and duduk je dlm bilik tue~!
10. dont talk back when people kutuk u, biar lar kutuk, ade i kisah.

focus, focus, you can do it. kat UITM dlu xde pn gaduh gan org, mybe sbb i xcmpur with they all. kan senang. xde masalah. so, keep it to urself from now on.

life is rough

2010-10-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

i feel like caging myself up until i finish my sem 1 exam in nov. then, in dec i will be free as a bird. :). okay, i've been counting my days lately. like seriously, ni lagi scary dari exam spm or exam asasi yg i pernah ambik before this. i hate the word repeat, so mintak simpang2 banyak2 sangat. over here is really hard to study i tell you. there's always activities that we need to get ourself involve in. kalau xde activity, msti ade assignment yg merepek2 like reading journals and you need to present them in front of the lecturers. then, they will ask you about the journal that you have read and so on.if you dont know how to answer their question, you'll be penalised. it sucks i tell you. the thing is journal tue dh lar susah nak pham, biochem plak tue. adoi, mmg susah lar. besides journal, i ada reports, another 2 teeth that needs to be carved and plus i need to study for exams. 8subjects in 1 week. HOW GREAT~!

its fun being here actually, friends are great and all. i laugh more than i was in UITM maybe, i guess so. but still everytime that i feel happy, i will feel scared at the same time. life is rough. maybe i just need to bare with it for awhile. my friends said, Allah xkan bagi challenges to us yang kite xleh hadapi. so, maybe this is my faith. :)

due to alot of stresses, my face, owhh, my face. :(. dh byk pimples. benci gile. it must be bcoz of the food or the water or my hormones. damn, i need to blame something. arghhh. bnci btul. :(.

btw, i got some teka teki over here. :D
if darl is a short form for darling.
then sai, is a short form for what?
anyone can answer this. and if you read this i hope you will know the answer to it. :).

xoxoxo~
lots of love. muah. muah.

im so down

2010-09-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

tomorrow, im going back to UM. i wish it is easy but it is not. i cant hold back the tears. there's another 2 months more until my exam. and to tell you the truth, im so scared. i never never take any exams yet. not even a quiz. i want to cry. why is the 2 weeks pass so quickly. i dont even get the chance to spend enough time with my parents especially my mom. im seriously gonna miss her. i dont even have time to come back home after another 2 months. OMG~!! like seriously, i wish UM is nearer to home right now. im scared. should i just come back and study at home during the study week? like seriously, im gonna cry before taking the exam. i can tell. all this while, my study week will be at home where i can see the people that can make me feel secure, comfortable and full with love. i dont have anyone to tell, that i really really am sad right now.in the end, i learn that we can only rely on ownself.

im not that strong actually. i always pretend that i am. even people look at me saying that im confident and strong, but im not actually. living in UM is like hell to me. worse than Uitm i would say. i dont know why maybe i just cant adapt to this kind of life yet. really hectic and stressful. less holidays i might say. i think im the only person that will skip with joy when holidays come. now, i know. nothing is easy in life. i choose this path. so, i need to bare with the consequences. i need to roughen myself up i guess. too manja. i just like to depend and be close with the people that i love.

P/s : i think im lack of love. i just need some hugs now and then. :(

everythings change

2010-08-23T03:13:00.000-07:00

today, is the first day. starting of the new me. im trying to change here, from thinking that often about you to what should i study later on. from talking about you that often to just keep quiet and find something else that can amuse me. i feel so lonely. no one to give me morning calls, no one to text me, ym me or even video call me anymore. yeahh, i will miss that. funny, how life is. its hard for you to get the one person that you really love. but, its okay. i believe in destiny. like you said, i shouldnt wait for you. its okay. i will not. i will try to live my life in a different way from now on, as if you never existed in mine. thinking of you always bring tears to me. maybe, its because i always think of you as more than just a friend. but, i dont think you feel that way. i dont know how i will feel after one month or two. after this feeling has faded away, i will try to tegur you. if i have the guts lar. i dont think i can. there's too many memories that i need to erase from my days of knowing you. you always think of others, but you did not consider my feelings about this one. maybe, you felt to guilty. its okay. i promise myself not to put you in that position anymore. who am i to do that right.

i will miss all the days we spent together chatting and video calls. from now on, i dont have to wait for you to come back home and to video call. there will be no one singing while playing guitar for me anymore. its okay, it will only be a memory after this. slowly, slowly i will erase it. loving you is the hardest thing i ever did.

funny, i never give up on you. confessing to you, making fool of myself so that you will like me. approach to u as in i xtahu malu langsung. but, its okay. trying to get you to fall in love with me was the hardest lar. i never fall in love with a guy that i never even met yet. your the first and i hope the last. i even dream of marrying you one day. it will only be a dream lar from now one.

i hope my days will go by fast. i hate feeling sad all the time, feeling like to cry. i hope this feeling will fade away fast. please please Allah help me. orang dah xnak kat kite. kite patut lupekan dia.
maybe there's a silver lining beneath all that had happened here.

p/s: im really glad that i met you, even it is only for awhile. :)
your good in making me smile, hope you will never forget me. :)

it bleeds again.

2010-08-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

my heart bleeds again. maybe this is permanent.

note to self : never to get attach to anyone. you might hurt yourself.

scared, nervous, anxious.

2010-06-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

alhamdulillah, im very happy that i get the course that i wanted. that is dentistry in UM. The thing is im scared of studying in UM. they said its tough. hurmm. im kindda a little bit sad, you used to give me good advises. i hate it when your being sarcastic. it hurts me. hurmm. you dont like me to enter UM kar? hurmm. maybe i should just learn to keep quiet and handle it on my own. if your just gonna hurt me better i just keep low, not telling you anything. what happened to all that supports that you used to give me. maybe we're grown apart. nevermind lar, im stronger than you think i am. i can do this. even if its going to kill me. i will not gonna look back and says that im regretting the choices that i have made. if others can do it why cant i? i need to recollect all those semangat, so that i can feel strong again. if your gonna cry nabila just go ahead but not to him. he will just going to make you feel worse. what a great .. i have.

these few words of mine

2010-06-08T07:22:00.000-07:00

day by day, i try to let you go,

there're these few words that i would like to tell you,

before all of this end,

these few words that is hard to be uttered

i try to push you away

so, that i will not feel the pain anymore,

but, you keep coming back

your move, your way, your act opens my heart

that was almost closed as i,

thought it will not be opened anymore,

comforting me when i broke down in tears was the start of it again,

my heart is cursing to let you go as im scared its get worse,

day, by day my heart is yearning for,

every steps and my prayers to god is me asking to be closer to you

if we're destine to be together

one day all of this will happen

and if one day this will just be a memories

i hope it will be a wonderful one for both of us.

if you are someone thats just stopping by for awhile in my life

im so happy that you did

you always try to make me happy

as you are a cheerful and energetic person

and when i looked at you, i can feel this warm feeling of yours

your open my heart to yours,

and maybe your just someone that i need to meet in my lifetime.

we dont know whats the future going to bring us,

but, let me say it before it ends,

im really glad that i met you,

even, if it is for awhile.

xoxoxo. :)

things are better off that way.

2010-05-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

mama, you can sensed when im feeling sad. the way u looked at me.the way u stared at me. u can see it only in a glanced. when, i turned around to face you back. i can see you feeling there's something wrong with me. normally, you will asked what happened. but, maybe certain things we shouldn't discussed. like today,
i learned that in life you cant have everything your way. and normally i will cry and go emotionally on it. but, i think im getting mature and less childish.
i can even smile and say maybe its better to be friends. loving someone as friends are more powerful compare to others.
as long as, the relationship is there, i think i would be fine with it.
hugging you is the best medicine of all.
but hey ma, you should know that i didnt cry like i used too anymore.
seriously not like before, when my eyes gile gile gile like panda.
pergi sekolah pun malu. :)

p/s; thanks for telling the truth, i really do appreciate it. at least i know the reasons. :).
: thanks alot to my friends. gile caring korang. tgur tnye whether im okay or not. syg korang. :)

miss you guys~!!

2010-05-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

im damn bored rite now. i can even cry. aiyoo. i dont want to spend my precious being 19 nites at home. arghh. i want excitement. not that gile2 one. just some fun late at night. arghh. what am i talking about. im a gal. in our tradition and culture gals are suppose to stay at home. i really hate onlining everynight. feeling like there's no fun in life. maybe, i just miss college's life.when you get to kacau people around you. talking late at night. watch movies together. gossiping. running up and down to chase people. spilling buckets of water to celebrate their birthdays. kena marah wif pak guard balik lambat. ( and im realli good at this.haha.). play truth or dare (haha, i didnt get the chance to complete my dare.haha.pity them. =).sleepovers.walking to the class( haha, seriously my college to faculty is damn far. selalu je kne maki bile jalan.thank god there's bus and cap.haha. syg pak cik cap. =).haha. makan ramai2. =). i miss kena suap. =).eating my fav ice cream ( sundae cornetto choc!. my fav. =). hehe, best, nuha selalu belanje.hehe. jahat kn sye. tp sye sgt syang awk~!=). sye rindu smua org~! seriously. sye rindu smua. korang baek sgt. ske dgr complaint, mnyalak, mrepek sye.haha. =). and sorry sgt sye suke jerit name org kuat2.haha, ske kenakn org. =).

p/s: korang slalu dihati.gile rindu. nk je nyanyi lagu uitm tue.haha. =)

no more braces

2010-05-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

yeah, there's no more braces, but just only stupid retainer~! arghhh. =)

2010-05-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

please dun feel sorry for me, im stronger than what you think.

2010-05-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

IMY, IMY U ALOT I GUESS.
ALL I CAN DO IS JUST to STAND STILL AND HOPE FOR IT TO BE OVER.

slowly,slowly, time will come, i hope this emotion of mine will subside by itself.

p/s: there's story to tell u. im gonna open my braces this thursday. then, i need to suffer wearing a retainer plak.=). but, thank god when im in uni, there's no more braces.=).

brainstorming..

2010-05-17T22:35:00.000-07:00

nabila, please think fast~!. u have only like until this sunday to decide on what to take for degree course. arghhh.. do i ever tell you that i hate making decisions???arghh. decide for me lar.. i barely can even sleep lately. all i can think of it was what im going to fill up for the upu second phase. yeah, its second phase. after this, there's no more changes. so, after i have decided it, i cant change and i need to live it for mybe another 40years. thats what mama said lar.haha. but, we can always change the plan.hehe. its easier to marry a rich guy.haha. then, i can shop till i drop all the time and travel around the world.. tp that path lgi susah nk tgk.haha. dah. dah. im starting to crap.. arghh.

i have two choices now- dentistry or medic?
i dont think i can do medic. im afraid things like surgery, cucuk cucuk stuff. and medic is like for the good students. why i said like this. you see kay, if your patient is about to die. you cant cry in front of that person and tell him/her that she's not going to live for a long time. how to do that? omg, karang i yg nanges dlu before telling that person. hurmm.

for dentistry plak, can i get datuk title for it? call me ambitious but i really damn want it~!. haha, other gals maybe prefer datin rather than datuk.but, i prefer datuk. to get it by urself will give you that satisfaction since you earn it by urself. =). dream on lar nabilailani~! haha, =)

to be continued
nabilailanihasgonecrazy. =)

keep me thinking.

2010-05-16T04:13:00.000-07:00

why are we always fighting? when your not by my side, i always cry hoping your there. but, when we are near each other, there's always screaming, crying,fighting, and tensed between us. sometimes, i do wonder why you dont really see the real me. all you see is him. as if im not that vital to you. im a vulnerable and a sensitived person. when we're fighting im always in the verge of crying. it really hurts me deep down inside. so many times i've repeated that i hate repeating the same thing that i've already told you. maybe you dont see this. maybe you dont understand why im being like this. i dont like to repeat myself because i want your attention. you are a very important person in my life. i want you to always be there for me. i want you to always listen to all my stories. but, you only do that with him. who am i to you? maybe, we should just be far apart from each other. thats better i guess. the strained between us should end as fast as possible, i hope. im gonna try to keep my mouth shut, so that i wouldnt hurt you that much anymore.maybe, keeping it to myself is better comparing having to fight with you all the time. you must be tired of me i guess. dont worry, soon im gonna be gone. i will not bug u that often anymore. and when im away, i really hope deep down inside, you'll gonna miss me. =(.

missing you. =(

2010-05-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

approximately at 2.45 a.m, i woke up from my dreamland.the first thing that is running through my mind is you. i think this is because that i miss you. i tried to search for you, but your not there. the only thing that i can do is wishing you to be there. all i can do is just cry. why am i being like this i dont know. maybe im scared of losing you. losing you from my mind is the worst of all. actually, there are alot of things that had happened today that i would like to share with you. i want to tell you that i really had fun today with my friends. even though, it started rough in the beginning,full of screaming and crying but i can still say that it turned out very smoothly in the end.we had alot of fun.i played the banana boat and jet ski. it was the first time that i drove it. and i wasnt scared at all. i drove it as if the sea is mine. all i can pictured it was you. your just like the ocean, a place that i can really let go of myself. did i ever tell you, that i like the sea very much? its like apart of me. it makes me happy. =) . besides that, i would like to tell you that i just only bought my iphone case. i really like to show it to you. but your not there. =(. lastly, i would like to say to you that i really misses you. even though, we contacted each other daily, but tonight there's this feeling of wanting to tell you. maybe i should just keep it to myself, since truthful can be really hurting sometimes. =(

addicted. =)

2010-04-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

if i stand along with you, would you do the same? =). im currently addicted to this song:

your guardian angel- by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

im lazy to upload it, lambat sgt nk tunggu. =).so, you guys g cari. listen to the lyrics. you might end up crying. try it. =))

where have you been?? =((

2010-04-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

we've been friends for about a year and few months i guess. the first time we met and went out together was on the 30th Disember 2008. if you still remember. hurmm. lately, you barely even text me, and normally you will call me like every week.but, your not doing it anymore. i think i miss the calls.

i miss your whinning. i miss you telling me all your problems. i miss the stuffs we used to talk about. hey, is it me? hurmm.. am i giving you problems. i dont know what else to do.

i try to text you, but you reply mcm nk xnk je. i even tegur you in ym asking you are you angry with me. but no.. you said your not. but, that it. we stopped until there. as if we dont have anything else to say to each other. fyi, everytime you online i feel like nk tgur you but i feel like i shouldnt. i feel like im giving you problems and making you feel unease..

i like the way things are dulu.i like being the one who listen for your stories, problems, new facts. arghh. you always help me dulu. you help me with my lab and all. you even googled for me for things that i needed to know. hey, do you remember, we played rollerblade together. =)). i teach you remember? hurmm.

maybe things will not be the same macam dulu. the earth is orbitting, and so are we. we are turning to be different people i guess. you with your own stuffs and me with mine.

but, one thing for sure. when you need someone to listen, help you out, giving you opinions, make you laugh. i will always be there, thats what friends are. friends till the end. =)

im in delima..=((

2010-04-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

arghhhh.. how? how? how to choose? arghhh. should i buy iphone? should i buy blackberry? arghh.. OMG. why is it so hard to choose a phone. i know why im being like this. hahaha. my phone slalu rosak. like every year. only GOD KNOWS.~!!.huhu. entah lar. i have this thing with gadgets. haha. im really bad in electronic stuffs.. i think im a jinx in it.haha. =)). when i think that i already make a decision of buying a blackberry bold 9700, tiba2 rase nk iphone gak. can i have both?haha. gile tamak. aduiii. =((. arghh. kn best if im rich enough to buy on my own. i will buy both.. but im not there yet. arghh. bile nk jadi doctor ni.. =)). still alot of steps to take..
apart from that, i have this thing with colours.haha. OMG~!!! arghhh.. i love love love love love iphone casing. it is so so so so so so so so so so cute... =((. arghhh..but im really scared of using iphone. kurang tahan lasak.haha. my phone slalu jatuh. so i need to buy phone yg can leh last longer abit.. xsanggup nk tukar hp stiap tahun.. =((

wondering..=)

2010-04-19T06:14:00.000-07:00

where should i start? hurmm, my peeps that keep updating with me will know the story about things that had happened to me this past few days. maybe yesterday, i was so pissed off, humiliated, embarrassed, felt stupid, betrayed and miserable but now, im recovering.. i can even put a big smile on my face without needing to fake it. sorry u guys, i smiled fakely the other day. i was just so moody at that time. so, it was beyond my control. jawahir will know better what im facing for this past few days. but hey, as i told up there earlier, im recovering. im more stronger now.huhu. thanks you guys for all the supports and advises.i really do appreciated it. =)).

in my entire life, i never met this type of people, who can make others laugh easily and can also make others easily cry. arghhh.. nevermind, im learning to forgive you actually. like Syan said, when im angry, i tend to merepek, mncarut and even exaggerate about stuffs sometimes. thats is why i post this new entry one day after. if not.hahaha, im scared that person will feel sad.

i cannot judge you, your my new friend. maybe thats the way you treat others, just like you treat me. but there's some do's and don'ts that you have to know when you mingling with gals. you need to stop doing this sweet stuffs to gals.girls easily attracted to that. i know its my fault too. i should actually put this one barrier in front of me when im chatting, fb or do anything with you since you've told me that gals are easily fallen for you. yeah, i should do that in the first place. i know, but i didnt i guess.

and for your information, i hate that you count how many gals that had already confessed to you. OMG. please lar.who do you think you are ?do you think gals are cheap? arghhh.. and i hate you're acting cool as if you've done nothing wrong. aihh..entah lar. nak kutuk lebih2 kat dlm post ni takut u sedey plak. hurmm. for what i know, i like you since your good in making me smile. im learning to smile again without you by my side. maybe i can kutuk you in front of my friends and all, but who am i to do that? i had never met you yet pun. so, how can i kutuk you lebih2 right?

p/s: im a person that can easily forgive and forget even if it hurts. =). and seriously, im wondering that, do you have any feelings for me. haha. ntah lar. maybe we should just leave it hanging there.

humiliated, embarrass.. =(

2010-04-18T03:45:00.000-07:00

its so like him. =)

2010-04-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

f : dude..
m : owwhhh boyy.. i hereby giving you permission to like me.. (pheeeww)

f : cannn ( gulp) caannn i reallly likeee youuu?? but, wouldnt it feel weird and make you feel bad?
m : well, i am surprised and i do feel strange.. ( buat2 mcm cool gile..) but, its not a bad thing...

f : (tears flowing down her face..) Are you sure that you wont be troubled by me liking you??
m : gal.., i am someone that is love by numerous people. thats what i do for living.. it wont trouble me at all to let you join as a fan in one of my million fan clubs... ( muke xleh blah, bngga smcm...) That's the sort of person i am..

stop thinking ~

2010-04-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

im constantly thinking about him lately,can i stop doing so. its really hurting me deep down inside. i even cry more often lately. why is this happening to me? is it so hard to feel being in love? i just want someone to love me.thats all, sometimes in life fancy things, branded clothes and expensive materials do not bring the same kind of happiness that you will get as in feeling in love. if i could recall it, it has been approximately two years i've been single. maybe, certain people would say, " hey, whats wrong in being single? you should have fun while it last". yeah. its nice to hear that, you can actually flirt around and all. but sampai bile? i miss being taken care off. i miss being pampered. i miss someone saying to me i love you every single day. maybe, im being insecured to wanting to feel this way. arghhh, i do envy people thats in love because i couldnt get to feel it..=(.

p/s: im a moron to love someone like you, im trying to stop here ( because i know its a good thing for both of us )

me and him.=))

2010-04-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

the picture says it all. hahaha. dat funny annoying kiwi draw this for me tonite. aint it funny.hilarious i would say. me, as the annoying orange KENTUT at my annoying kiwi..

hahahaha. sengal gile.. and he said, he will still put a smiley face~!, so sweeeeetttt.. =P

p/s: about the dude yg i mrah in my last post was a mistake i guess. tue lar. perasaan trlebih. dats not actually meant for me.haha. so, i wouldnt have to feel guilty and sorry for that guy. =))

please don't tell me~

2010-04-11T04:28:00.001-07:00

the other day, i've posted something about someone being unaware that i already fallen for that someone. suddenly, out of nowhere, a person that i would call it as "bestfren" ask me. is it me?arghh.. i was shocked with his action. i dont really know what to say. maybe, we are close as bf and gf but im really sorry to tell you this that i cant.. i dont feel anything. seriously, i dont. if you are awared that sometimes, you do talked about other girls. and to be franked. sikit pn xde jealousy inside my heart. i even try to give you some tips on how to tackle the gal. aihh. sbar je lar.hurmm. i also dont like you to write something in ym that you love me. please lar. i dont like it. =(

alhamdulillah~!!-

2010-04-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

for starters i would like to praise ALLAH for what GOD has given to me. im trully bless by him. im really thankful to him for what he has given to me. he's given me a good health, good family, good friends and most of all that God never tends to forget me. im a human being. sometimes when im happy i tend to forget you, God but you will always find ways for me to come back to you. i don't really give you enough of my zikir, solat sunat and wajib and so on. even so, you always help me when im in trouble and when i just don't have the strength to move on.

thanks again~ for my results. =))

someone.. =(

2010-04-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

arrgghh.. it is really bugging me now. hurmm. that person that i like for now is going to post something about he's special someone.hurmm. im doubting its he's mom or dad he's reffering this to. hurmm.. =(. and obviously, im doubting its me... hurmm. im really scared now. hurmm.stupid but yeah im scared now. he's going to post something that he dedicates it to whom he called it as he's "very" special someone this weekend. arghh.. i really really wanna read it so badly now. spare me with my curiosity.at least if i feel sad and miserable, it will only happen now. and i dont have to wait until he posts that thing..arghh.

p/s : im bad in waiting.. and curiosity really bites me off my ass~! =(

if i could tell u these few words of mine...

2010-03-24T03:40:00.000-07:00

i would tell you how much i adore u... how much you make me feel safe and secure.. how much i would like to text you every mins of it.. how much i would like to tell u how i feel about you.. how many times in a day that i often think of you.. but, things do not seem to move on that way anymore.. maybe its me.. but maybe its you.. maybe we just grow together as friends.. maybe that is how you actually feel about me for this past few days of us being friends...

you asked me, do i like being friends with you.. i said yes.. because u make me smile and laugh all the time.. but, u did not take it in a positive way.. maybe its hard for you.. maybe its hard for both of us.. if i could just erase all the moments of us doing things together, I WOULD.. even if i never get the chance to know you..

i barely think of other things lately, most of it was about you.. seriously, i hate being in love.. love that i only feel it.. i should just learn to let you go, bit by bit.. until i will not search for you anymore.. maybe that is the best for us..

learning to close my heart.. =*(

~i would like to be a leaf floating in the river, not knowing where it might take me to~

hols~!!! =DD

2010-03-23T01:07:00.000-07:00

i fall.. i fall.. without any sign.. i fall.. fallen for someone that i dun think would fall for me.. it happens starting from CNY i guess.. yes.. we both had this wonderful conversation in the ym.. we did WC. It was fun while it lasted.. things happen so fast, until my days is only to chat wif him. he makes me happy.. its actually hard to explain about this feelings. but, apparently, its really hard for me to make him fall for me. i think i should put this barrier in front of me.. so, that i would not always want him to make me happy.. he's goin away this year.. goin overseas.. i cant stand being wif someone thats really far away from me.. =(

my CNY HOLS

2010-02-12T07:10:00.000-08:00

my heart is fill with sadness.. my phone rosak...need to buy a new one.hurmm.. only god knows how sad am i.hurmm.. my dad said buy new one urself.hurmm.. i tot of changing new one after dpt result this sem.hurmm.. but it seems that it wouldnt allow me to do that.hurmm..sdeynye.. and i really ade conflicts with my parents.hurmm. sad as it is.. spjg ari sdey. cant stop crying.hurmm..

new sem...

2009-11-16T00:15:00.000-08:00

there are a lot of things that had happened these past few days. firstly, i got my sem 1 results. it was i would say beyond my expectations. i did get good results and i am really grateful for it since i really had done my best on the exam day. so, you guys could really guess how much that i got for my pointer.hehe. so, yesterday was the registration day. i had done so many things and i had try to find so many ways for me to stay in my room, but unfortunately it did not happen. as you all know that i really did not like my last sem room since i had to combine my room with the senior. it is not nice as you guys would expect it to be. i had unstable mood when my exams were around the corner. it really gave me a hard time. in my previous room, that was only 2 asasi science students and 2 seniors. you will know how i felt last sem. my same batch roomate will always leave me alone in the room. i felt lonely to study without her. this is because my senior roomate will not study.so, it was abit frustrating seeing others relax while you were studying your heart out.

this sem i will not make the same mistakes that i had done for last sem. i will be more mature and think of something that will really satisfy me and will not give pressures to me. i want to live a life that is pressureless.. something that will always put a smile on my face. so, i decided to change room for the better. learn to stay with new people.actually, it is not so new people. one of my roomates is my my classmate. so, i can say that i know the things that i suppose to know about her while the other were okie lar. they can really accept me as me. so, i really don't mind staying with them. we're in the same batch. i really hope that i can study well in my new room. Allah please help me to go through this new sem without any obstacles. i really hope i can study well so that i can reach my goal to become a successful dentist in the future. i will definitely put my heart and soul for it until my goals in life has achive.

annoyed~!! irritated~!! u name it~!!

2009-11-12T04:48:00.000-08:00

why i feel so annoyed, irritated, irked,vexed~!! u name it..ARGHHHH..

i did'nt get my hp yet; they told me that it would be repaired by today, but it didnt~!! it is really on my nerves already.hurmm..
i already send my laptop for 1 week but it is still not fixed~!! man, it's really sucks. i feel like i will not buy anything with the brand SONY on it~! hurmm.
RESULTS~!! suppose to come out today, but no it DID'NT , i waited the whole day at home.aihh.that's kindda upset me alot.since i can go out and watch 2012.HURMM.. sad..
about AUS~!! its really.. hurmm. i dunnoe what to say.sometimes, i feel that i want to go but then, sometimes, i dun feel like it..aihh.. sign..
scared for next sem~!! too little time to study but has alot of chapters to learn. and for me, i will be having less time to study if i go to aus.arghhh.. and obviously, my lecturer would think that i'm a spoil brat since 2nd week of classes i skip and pergi oversea plak tue,. bad impression on the 1month of sem. later, it is hard for me to dekat2 with them and to pujuk them about my marks ker.aihh..

need to put my mind straight..

2009-10-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

i really need to put my mind straight.. huhu. i really need to stop waking up late, in the afternoon. such a waste actually. u should always do something that is beneficial every single day rather than doing something that can increase your weight.huhu. =DD am i right?? so from now on i will always think of something ahead for tomorrow to come. thanks to my cousin who opened my eyes to this. she told me that, if you waste your days doing nothing that could contribute something to someone, or can increase your knowledge, your actually wasting your age of doing nothing. then, it came to me that im doing nothing all this while, and i can't stop the days to go by. so, it showed to me that as the day goes by, im actually getting older. obviously, i don't want to waste my valuable, can't repeat time of doing nothing. you can really see how it goes now right..

so, to all my friends out there, whose having holidays and doing nothing benefial. we should actually set some goals for these holidays that still left so that when others ask us what did we do doing our holidays, we can stand proud to say we've done something beneficial.=D

so, this is my goal to tomorrow that i would like to achieve:

1. wake up early..
2. jogging~!!
3. read novel- it has been ages since i read one.
4. think about our new house wall papers.
5. read newspaper
6. stop eating unhealthy food and alot.

really scared rite now..

2009-10-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

if you still remember, i went to melbourne, australia after i had finished up my SPM. hurmm, and now, i might be going to gold coast and sydney. im so scared, that maybe i wouldnt get my result as i expected that it would be. i know, that i can't actually do anything right now. but i am scared. i hope, and i really hope that i would get good results for this sem. you guys don't know how it broke my heart to see my SPM results. Until now, i still can remember the pain..

hangin out wif my best budd~ =DD

2009-10-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

we had our lunch after watching
whiteout movie

nj was showing her poker's face. =DD

love ya so mucchhh.. thanks for hanging out with me~! =DD

make me thinking.=(

2009-10-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

you always make me thinking, ever since im in form 1 and you in form 2. you always trying to come close to me, waiting for me to come to school on the bench near our school gate. i still remembered the days that you picked up your guitar and played it to me during our conversation on the phone. i still remembered the days, that we looked at each other with a smilling face. the face that i've been longing since then. i still remembered the days, that i will try to peep at your class so that i can have a glance at your face. but then, it changed when you choosed to enter mrsm langkawi. all that change.

after that, we barely talked to each other. when i tried to call you, you were busy. so, after awhile i tried to forget you since it looks like that we really were not meant for each other,you with your own things, and me with mine. it broke my heart ever since that,because i never get the chance to say i love you to you. yes, we do things like other couple would do, but we never declared it. your so caught up trying to get so many girls to notice you until you forgotten that you've opened mine to yours.

when i've moved on, couple with other people, you would called me asking me whether its true. obviously, i would say yes. but the way you asked me, as if i've done something wrong. as if, you're asking me to wait for you. when i asked do you have one? you denied it. so, you made me felt guilty. but then, i still kept on coupling with as many people as i want.

seldomly, you will call me asking me how am i doing. but as i said, seldom. like im not that important to you. as if, im just a friend.

it touched my heart when you called me during my spm. at that time i was studying for my biology paper. i couldn't study. so many things that i needed to read and memorised. i was so stressed out, but you were there for me, giving me advised. you even told me that if i was bored and need someone to talk too, i can always call you.you even played the guitar for me to released my stressed. you were my inspiration. i got 1A for biology paper thanks to you. you really come to me on the right time. =D

after that, we became closed. closer than before, at that time i don't know the secret. but as we chatted through ym. i asked you once more, do you have a girlfriend.. you were silent for awhile. and then you replied. you said yes. but its complicated. i was so heart broken since then. i almost when out with you on that day. but i couldnt since my grandma was sicked at that time, so i needed to rush back to my aunty's house in kl. if not, i will definitely fall for you again. it showed that you and i were really not meant for each other. it really opened my eyes.

but now, this raya you wished me slamat ari rya at the last day of rya. i asked you why now, you said you definitely cant be the first because its already late, and wishing me in the middle would be clince and you prefer to be the last. i was speechless. but he was abit upset since i just said okey. he thought that i will be happy. but then i told him that i will remember it. =(.

am i pathetic? am i overeacting? for god sake, he has already has a girlfriend but he keeps doing something that i find it sweet.maybe as a friend right? who am i kidding, he's my first love. everytime he does something sweet to me, it will make me fall for him. i know that if we are destine to be together it will happen also someday. i will wait for it. but if your really not meant for me i hope i will find a better guy than you. someone who can really touches my heart and understand me. not making me wait for you.

lost in my own world~ =)

2009-10-19T06:10:00.000-07:00

i don't know what i've been thinking lately, but ever since i entered uitm, shah alam. i've been so depressed since so many thing that had happened to me but now,i've grown up. things are getting better. im trying to be as much as positive as i could. for me, leaving in other place, really makes me more mature. so, as for now,im happy with the way i am. but im trying to be the better person that i could in the future. =D

afta test~!!

2009-09-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

time kitaog kt ktm. abit embarrass since kitaorg mcm perak naik ktm.haha.

almost slah train. xreti bca sign board.haha. ;DD

boring2. snap pix dlu. sblum smpai ktm kitaorg naik buses n taxi. pnat gile~!

me n quyah( ququ) :DD

kamilah, mua, n ququ. +_+

huhu, soie dh lma xupdate. n yg nie kitaorg kuar afta finish up all our tests for this sem. damn~! how fast the time flies.. and now, im just waiting for my final. huhu. actually, im not waiting for it. aihh.. so, sad lar. this raya i cannot enjoy it to the fullest. ;((( i hope lmbt sket raya.huhu. so, dat lmbt sket for me to take my finals. hee... back to the story, we went to sunway pyramid by using buses, taxi and ktm.haha. xprnh in my whole life g shoppin mall using so many public transport.reached there smua mcm nk pengsan. bt then, afta lookin at the clothes, shoes, handbags smua segar bugar blik.haha. sengal gila. ;DD. we reached back uitm at 12am. haha. i couldnt tell my parents. if they know, surely they will kill me. huhu. notty nabila duk shah alam. alahai, bkn slalu.heee..

raya?? :((((

2009-09-15T03:56:00.000-07:00

hurmm, raya?? i hate this raya. i dun get to choose my baju raya coz got no time for that. i hate that baju raya so muchhh... i dun get to raya wif my aunt, uncle, my kazens~!! i hate final exam after raya. hurmm. i reali dun look forward for this raya at all.. surely not nice wan. need to study. plus, need to wear the baju rya that i hate. aihh. wat is raya act lik this. hurmm. ;(

updating things that i did on my birthday. ;D

2009-08-02T01:29:00.000-07:00

read this post from down to up kay~!! huhu. sorryy for the inconvenient. :D

syafeena pn ada.haha. kesian dia. asked her to come jusco early kot.dh lar dia xtau jln.haha.kesian tul.huhu. bt thanks coz dtg to clbrate my birthday~!!.hehe..ktaorg mkn kedai siam.xigt nma kdai tue.huhu.coz shikin nk sgt mkn ikan apa ntah.lpa plak.ala, ikan yg slalu ada kt kdai2 siam tue.haha. pas2, i nk mkn tom yam.huhu.sdap kot.huhu. yummyy. full mkn kt c2.huhu.pas2, ktaorg headed to shikin's hse. sent her bck home. then, went to sunway~!! wohoo.tgk pelham 123 gn diaorg n mak syafeena skali.mak dia sporting gla kot.bt pity her mom n her coz kna blk awl. pas2, went to fetched my mom.hehe. tgk2 my mom kt kpj bm.aihh. i dh lar dunnoe the direction.haha.end up,pgi blk ker jusco bli BIGG APPLLE~!! huhu. ting n jwa bli secret recipe~!! mkn2 while waiting 4 my mom to arrive.after she arrived we headed home~!!. tp byk present kot~!!hehe. ;D.thanks u guys~!! love u guys so mucchh~!! huggsss nn kisssesss~!!

time kt toilet gan nj~!! wah.. i reallii reallli mishhh her alott~~!! liyana too.aihh.slalu dpt hang out skali. even though kta jauh wif each other, tp we stil love each other n besties 4 ever. ;D. bt this time, liyana xcuti, so, xleh nk lpak skali.aihh~!! too bad..

time ambik shikin~!! jmpa diaorg time cuti jer.aihh. xbest tul. even though, dkt gan shikin. bt then, stil xsmpat nk jmpa. study asasi nie tiring n u dun hve time 4 urself.kna catch up byk kot.aihh. xper lar.just 1year. kna make full of it lar~!! coz akn tntukn whether im takin medic or dentistry.huhu. :D

okie, after mkn kt subaidah,pergi kt keta. tgk2 keta kna tahi burung~!! gross gila~!!! dh ar byk.klu sket lain ar cter. sbar jer~!! pas2, g umah shikin. had to fetch her plak.huhu.birthday gal kna fetch gan rmai org. aihh.birthday gal jdi driver.ish2.. pity me..wa.. hehe.xada arr. im so glad diaorg leh kuar. klu xclbrate sorang ar.aihh. sbar jer. ;) love them sooo muccchh.. pas2, pnjam paip kt umah shikin.haha. cuci my mom's car dlu.karang bising plak dia~!!.huhu.

i woke up early .haha. birthday gal lar katakn.haha.no lar. not so rjin.huhu. woke up early coz kna send my mom to her work place.b4 dat, i fetched ting 1st.haha. i fetched her at 7.30am.haha. early kn?huhu. she kna wake up early bcoz of me.haha. after sent my mom, go fetched jawahir~!!.wohoo.kesian dia. janji at 9, bt i fetched her at 8.15.huhu.kjam i on my birthday.huhu. pas2, bwk diaorg g subaidah.breakfast sma2.huhu.lma dh xwat mcm tue. n ktaorg mkn byk gila kot~!!.kta nk diet.sbar jer.aihh.. ;D

18th birthday- im oldddd..add more wrinklessss..

2009-07-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

these are my presents from my frens. they gave it to me on my birthday. act kitaorg ada lpak outside - jusco, n sunway carnival~!! . snap alot of pixs. but my camera usb ada kt my bro. so, xleh nk upload pix. bt when, dh dpt i upload kay~!!. dun worry peeps, i will update to u things that i've done on my birthday kay. hehe. just wait n c. the theme colour for this year birthday~!! choc~!! except for the cute keychains~!! like the presents ALOT~!! love u guys so muchh.n soie for the names that i didnt mentioned. ;D

special thanks to~~~~

jawahir for those cute keychains~!! :D
shikin, ifni for the cutttee teddy~!!. i've always want 1 from my frens.hehe.
ting,yen and safwan for the bathroom decoration~!! so adorable. ;D
syafeena for givin me some money to buy the sandle. love the sandle alot~!.haha. ;D

full of sadness in my life~!

2009-07-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

pls dun go~!! im begging you...... y ppl have to come n go just like that.. im sick of feeling this way. feeling sad all the time. Allah mmg wanna test me. wanna noe whether im strong enough or not. im not that strong as u think im. i couldnt bare seeing her go.. she's the closest wan i hve. y her. i just didnt feel the same anymore.. i think im changin to ppl that i dunnoe. to ppl who doesnt hve feelings anymore. every single day i have to face thru the same thing. sometimes, i just wanna let it go. bt when i think about my parents, then only i start to become stronger. its true wat ppl say that " that the only person u can rely on is ur parents n family.frens can just come n go.whether u wan it or not.. it will still happen."

bored+stress+homesick

2009-07-04T21:26:00.000-07:00

mama, abah... mishing u so muccchhh.. i miss the tasty food, im mish my astro, i mish my room.. i mish everythin at home~!!!

tired of studyin.. need to catch up wif my studies. im so good this weekend xkuar mna2 pun. mama, abah should be proud of me.haha.

btw, mama, abah.. thanks for the line n broadband.. love ya guys so much.. cant wait 2 meet u guys sems break.. tunggu lar kepulangan anak mu ni.hehe

more updates on my life in uitm shah alam,;D

2009-07-04T00:33:00.001-07:00

nie aliza but we all call her ally. she's reali fun 2 be wif. funny gla kot. boleh gelak terbahak2 lpak gan dia. ;D. she dpt scholar mara bt she didnt take it.myb she takut she's goin 2 mish us kot.haha. love ya ally. thanks for stayin here. ;)

beside ally and me nie is our lecturer, miss siti hajar. cutekn dia? lecturer bio yg sporting habis. dh lar fun to be wif . summre bila dia ajar dlm kelas mmg bleh pham lar. btw, she's only 22 years old.haha. spa2 nk ngorat tell me.i recommend to her later on.huhu.

haha. nie lar pix time we all tgh tunggu nk msuk klas chemi kt luar lecture hall. ada 1 jer interframe pix nie.haha. guess who?? hurmm..btw, yg pkai bju kurung 2 org 2 are kamilah n quyah or lebih manja dipnggil ququ.hehe. new nick name. we need to find ne nick for kamilah plak.haha.

beside me is athirah. very close to her. kira klu pergi mna2 always wif her. bt then, she dh pndh intect. how sad is that. hurmm. cant do much act. she dpt scholar jpa g ireland. wat dentistry.dh lar dpt course yg i nk.sbar jer.huhu.love ya..

act, this is the best pix. the only pix wif the 5 of us. how sad is that, pasnie xleh nk snap pix 5 ppl dh since tyra pn dh xada kt class. i pn dpt lab partner bru 4 chemi, faatin.huhu. tp xsebest doin lab wif thyra lar..goin 2 mish ya...but we can still meet outside. hehe lpak sma2. ;D

life in uitm shah alam..

2009-06-11T01:52:00.000-07:00

okie, let me tell u guys basically what happened to me in uitm shah alam. my roomates ( cam, ain and najah) very nice indeed.hehe. i kindda can get along with them. im stuck in class m. fyi, thats the last class.hehe. few frens of mine in class m are athirah, quyah, aliza, and kamilah. they are so friendly. they are so cool, funny and daaammnnn noisssyyy~!!haha. actually, in class im the talkative wan. always talk non-stop. but during lecture i will hear and let the lecturer do all the talking.haha. the four of us are kindda noisy gila until maybe ada people envy us. but for my tutorial class. what can i say. i dont really like the class. coz most of my friends are in tutorial 1 and im stuck in tutorial 2. aihh. maybe there's something hidden behind it.hurmm. its not fair actually. aihh. i always need to walk alone for tutorial and lab. hurmm. self pity actually.but what to do. i asked my maths lecturer, she let me join tutorial class for group 1. hurmm. at least i got to change 1 subject to tutorial group 1.im goin to try to change for other tutorials and labs. i hope i can change all of them.hehe.

missing everyone..even though u guys r not always at my side.

2009-05-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

i left two days more until i enter uitm shah alam for asasi sains. today, after i took my pics from kodak. i put it in one album that i bought it personally for me to take it to uitm as memories of my family and beloved friends. as i glared through the pics i was beginning to feel like crying. i felt that my eyes was fulled with tears. but i couldnt cry because even though, i cry it wouldnt change anything. as i flip through the album i saw our pics. hehe. time my friends and i went to genting. wow,when u looked into the pics, i could see that all of us was having so much fun there.hehe. but i cannot repeat that moments if i want to. just that we can do another trip or reunion to other places. it would be nice dont u think so. it would be fun if we can spend some on an island.haha. it would be a great reunion.hehe. then, i saw few picx of my family in indonesia and my picx in australia.aihh. u guys couldnt imagine how much i love australia. such a lovely place. the scenery was a sight to behold. the people was amazing. but during the time i was in aus i counted my days there. hehe. since, it was the first time i was far apart from my parents. but i learnt so many things from my experience there. now, im going to count my days to uitm. hehe. feel like im growing up. and i feel it like it is too fast. but, i couldnt stop it. it will keep continue. but one thing for sure, i will be missing all of u. it is hard to find someone out there that u can trust like i trust all of my family and my friends. but i need to learn that. i really hope everything is going to be fine. i'll be there alone i guess with no one that i know of. i will survive there. dont u guys worry. im a big gal. i could handle it if i put my mind to it.hehe. u'll be seeing me in the library more often later on.haha.

p/s: i love u guys so much. thanks for supporting me and being my friend all this while. i love u guys with all my heart. every moments we had together, i'll cheerish it. coz i noe that i couldnt find other friends like u guys. u guys are the apple of my eye.

thinking~!!

2009-05-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

yest, my grandma wat lar kenduri doa selamat sket for me yg nk g asasi sains uitm kat shah alam. pas2 wat sekali kenduri utk dia. mntak supaya she cpt sihat lar. she kn sakit. dia ada diabetes. so, kna wat dialysis n all. and recently, dia kna cut her vein on her right arm. pity her.sakit kot. smpai darah tue dripping and all. so, mntak supaya she cpt shat lar,. xyah nk susah2 cut her vein and all lgi. pas2, tiba2 blk umah mlm tue. i trpk whether i reali do wan to do dentistry. suddenly, out of nowhere. tiba2 jer. rsa mcm maybe i'll accept the petronas scholarship for business. i xtahu lar. whether i can cope gan asasi tue.takut pn takut. i takut im not that strong as i think i am. tp my parents kta lebih baek wat asasi for dentistry.hurmm. dia kta they prefer me to take profesional course. coz lepas ni ada keja n all. kuar2 dh ada keja. mcm mna ek? do i reali wanna do this. all my life, act i xtahu wat i should be. coz i rsa mcm im not that strong to handle it.but my parents think that i can. i xnk for my whole life i kja just to please my parents. mcm mna ek? im reali wonder lar. how, ppl can noe what they wanna do. im reali confuse rite now. hurmm. bcoz for me i will like to take something yg i can think out of the box. i ska wat business act. but i xberani ambik that risiko. coz takut lpas graduate i xada job nnti. pas2 kna mrah gan my parents. they said, why skrg tiba2 nk change my mind. and i was like ntah lar. suddently, i trpk that way.aihh.. i hope ALLAH bukakkn my mind to accept the fact that i should be a dentist.aihh.

so many things that i need to be prepared of.wa.. TENSION~!

2009-04-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

Tension tul. dulu masa nk msuk matriks pnya lar excited.pas2 now, bila i need to prepare all those stuffs that i will be needed later on.rsa mcm tension plak. need to go shopping. and its kindda need alot of money.aihh. aku plg benci mintak duit.n reali pity my parents bila kna kuar duit. and plg pity is that nowan will be at home. except for both of them only. since my only and sayang bro ada kt mrsm taiping. so, mesti diaorg boring duk umah sendri. pityful.=(.xper if i got time i blk slalu.hehe. if i can.dh lar duduk kt hulu.PERLIS plak tue.haha. but now, im stil waitin for upu. mna tahu if i can get.if im lucky enough lar. skrgkn org pndai2. so, need to compete n stuff. aihh. tension tul. but i will pray to ALLAH that if anything happen pn. if i di hantar ke mna2 tmpt pn. xper. AS LONG AS I CAN CATCH UP WITH ALL MY STUDIES. and I REALLI HOPE I CAN BE A DENTIST. A SUCCESSFUL WAN.

ding dong~!! =)

2009-04-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

Between Us

Somewhere and somehow i could feel you,

trying to make me fall for you,

but i cant accept that fact,

coz i know in my heart,

we can only be friends,

friends until the end,

but i know that maybe you cant accept that fact

im scared that one day you will leave me for another gal,

even though i cant say it out loud,

but deep inside there's sumthin special about you,

that i cant describe it,

so, for now i think we should just stay as friends

coz i believe that love as a friend is

more lasting and

i hope that you will understand the situation,

between us.

he's just not that into you~!!

2009-04-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

here is some tips for the gals out there that are searching for the right guy~!!

here is some review and tips that i get by watching the latest movie, he's just not that into you~!

he's just not that into you~!!

if you went out with him on a date and after a few days after that he didnt call you.that means he's reali not into you. so, for the gals out there just forget about the guy that didnt call u back after the 1st date. its not worth it if you wait for him~!!

if you meet a new guy and the guy did ask for your number and he gives he's number too to you but he didnt let you know when he's going to call.( that means he's reali just being polite by taking ur number because he just don't want to let you down. so, basically just forget about this dude~! coz he wouldnt call u back.~!!)

if he's done something wrong or something that you realli hate such as smoking., even though he knew that your dad died due to the lung cancer.( that means he's totally not for you because he's doesn't seem to care about your feelings.)

if he cheated on you with another gal, and he offers himself to move out. (that means he's realli not into you anymore because he's trying to get out from you.)

how to know whether the guy is into you??!!

he calls you after your 1st date and say something like he had some wonderful time with you on your 1st date. ( he's totally into u babe~!! haha so, better keep your mind alert because maybe he will asks you for another date..=)

if he picks up your call even though he's with another gal. ( that could be a sign of he's into you~!! so, you better watch out. maybe you will see some flowers at infront of your house~!!=)

if he asks you for another date after your 1st date( he likes u babe~!! your in his lists.hehe)

if he listens to your problems and gives you some good advise ( he's falling for you~! but there could be just a sign of friends. so, you reali need more signs than this one.

the most important thing is that he calls you when you didnt get back to him after you said you will call him back later on. it shows that he's reali reali reali into you when he come to your house instead if you didnt get back to him ( he's just worry about you and that means he's reali fallen in love with you~!! how sweet is that right.hehe.)

so, here is some guide lines for the gals out there is searching for MR RIGHT. if they reali do exist.haha. so, gudluck with that kay~!! =) and
please leave your comments after reading this kay~!!.

im going to wait for u~!!

2009-04-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

do u ever believe in love at the first sight? i used not to, dlu. but then after i saw him and we had some wonderful conversations then i started to believe in love at the first sight. all of this happened during educamp petronas. mula2 i mcm xnk pgi lar. coz im so not good in mingling wif others but then since nisha oso pgi. so, i was like just give it a shot lar and plus i wanna hve fun gan nisha. cuci mata tgk cute guys.haha. as usual.haha. pas2, dat saturday nite, 11th april estimated 10.30pm. a cute guy nama MOHD HAFIZ from Johor approached me. the first question he asked me was 'boleh wat xexam maths tdi?' . and then, we started to talk non-stop. we laughed at each others jokes. he told me about himself. asking me what course did i apply for the interview and stuffs. and asking me how long have i been wearing the braces. at that time, bus drivers semua suruh naik bus but then dia xnk. he mcm insisted in talking to me since i told him that i was waiting for hanisha to finish up her science and maths test. we talked kindda long until we can get along really well with each other. and at that time he trpaksa naik the bus coz scared xada bus dh for him later on. then, he said jumpa lgi esk. and i was like okie c u tomorrow. then, he came back and said that if we xjmpa tomorrow, dia wanna wish me gudluck 4 da interview. and i just said same u too~!! how stupid am i? and then, i just pusing belakang and walked away~!! another stupid move~!! wa.. and im so regretting it now.... and paling bodoh sekali is that i didnt ask for his no. aihh.. now, im regretting every minute of it. every day after that day i keep on thinking about him. about our conversations. and somehow that i feel that we are meant for each other. and every day afta that day i wish that i could repeat back that moment when he approach me asking me how was the test... but i noe it wouldnt happen again. and it is just some fake hope.. im going to remember this moment for eva

Im goin to wait for u~!

thanks nisha for bringing me out~!!wohoo~!(:

2009-03-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

okie,basically today actually i don't have any plans.but then,around 11.ooam,nisha called me and asked me to go out with her.and at that time i was not prepared yet.since i was still on my bed. sleeping.so, u get the picture that i just only woke up when nisha called me.haha.what to do.its holiday time what.but,if nisha didnt call me and ask me out surely i'll be in bed snoozzing back to sleep. so, back to my story, nisha and i reached sunway around 12.00 at noon. btw, nisha drove us there.hehe.me and nisha alone.when my mum knew about that, she called me right away just to ask whether we safely reach.and asked nisha not to drive to fast.haha.mom~!!.what to do.they always like that.hehe.then, we booked our tickets.the confessions of a shopaholic.after that, we had our lunch at kopitiam junction since i didnt take any breakfast yet.i was starving at that time.hehe.nearly finished up the food.the food was in a big portion.so, u get the picture.that i was fulled like hell.hehe.(:.. after that, we walked around the mall until 1.30pm (the movie started at that time) the cinema was well.totally peopless.haha.if ada lar that word.haha.a few people only watched the movie,not even 10 people~!! we kind of lucky because there was a few people there. the movie was damn awesome~!! cool like hell.if i can rate it.i'll give it 10 over 10.hehe.damn nice.full of love, sadness, romantic, angry, and it was very funny indeed.hehe.to all people out there.please do watch the show ~!!.haha promoting the show plak. the producer should pay me for this.haha.:)