random. :)

whatsoever

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in
On a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family
All dressed in pastel

And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

This is surely not
What you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say:

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

Fun gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march

And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems I was uninvited
By your lovely bride-to-be

She floats down the aisle
Like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me, don't you?

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

i dun think i can see eye to eye with you anymore. skrg tgur sket je msti nak gaduh. rilex ar.

flowing

i cry more often nowadays,i dunnoe why. but it just happened. easily feel sad and easily cry. why is it my heart is so unhappy? hurmm. i wish i could smile like before. lately, my smiles oso macam fake. susah gile nk smile skrg. i think i lost my happy soul. now, it only full with sadness and sorrow. i wish i was heartless and invisible pls~!!

dramas

it has been ages since i watched one, now im watching its started with a kiss. taiwan drama, bile i watch that drama, teringin gile jdi housewife duk kat umah jge anak2 and cook for family, sibuk pasal being a mom. mcm fun gile. mcm xstress lngsung. aihh, nvm lar. its just a movie i guess. but., she's damn energetic being a mom. funny, but i like it. :)

One night on the train part 2

akhirnye, i explode. asl lar explode dalam train. during the study week and exam week i gile gile pretend that im strong. cant cry need to focus and all. last2, explode jgak. seriously penat gile study macam orang gile even during my holidays and weekends when other people are enjoying themselves. tak pernah study teruk mcm ni and yet still xleh wat. i probably get e or f for all the papers. susah gile dentistry kat UM, even tougher that medic, at least you guys have alot of free time, im fully pack every single day. 8 papers in 5 days are not fun at all. gile penat study macam orang gile for 5 days. only GOD knows how i felt. pastu, bile gtau orang i cant do it tak de spe nk percaya especially my parents. aihh, i dunwan to break your hearts but its the truth kot. tak de spe nk dgr. aihh. i can only tell to my kakak roomate sorang tue. dia je pham because she dh face this thing. semua orang akan kata korang ni tak study ke, padahal study macam nak rak dunia. aih, i got another exm for next sem, if i cant make it that one, mintak simpang byk2. i cant take final exm. then, need to repeat 1 whole year. arghhhhh. tolong lar jgn. penat gile nk kne study the same thing all over again. :((. so, i will change when the next sem comes. i'll be stronger and become super duper nerdy. skrg pn dh ckup nerdy. serious penat. even, my aunty yg doctor pn even pity seeing me studying. dentistry in UM is a silent killer. you will never know unless u take it and face it yourself.

One night on the train part 1

alot of things came out of my mind, during that long journey. i wish im invisible and heartless. i read your blog btw, replying mine. hey,im really sorry. i know you have alot of things need to be done and all. its okie lar if your busy at times and replying late. i need to give some space anyway. im just being inconsiderate. i want to tell you, tak payah lar layan i dah sangat. bile i stress i banyak kerenah. it would probably kill your mood anyway. you pun mesti under alot of pressurekn. tak pe lar. kalau its because of the post yang u bace thats why you text me everyday during my exam week xpayah lar. i xnk menyusahkn orang. i dunwan to be a pain in the ass. the last statement tue, i was angry. damn angry. your still someone to me even if im not. yang peliknya, how can you react normally texting me eventhough u've read my blog.mesti sakit hatikn. so, tak yah nak susahkn diri dh. kesian you mesti penat layan i. im so so sorry menyusahkan you selama ni.