make me thinking.=(

you always make me thinking, ever since im in form 1 and you in form 2. you always trying to come close to me, waiting for me to come to school on the bench near our school gate. i still remembered the days that you picked up your guitar and played it to me during our conversation on the phone. i still remembered the days, that we looked at each other with a smilling face. the face that i've been longing since then. i still remembered the days, that i will try to peep at your class so that i can have a glance at your face. but then, it changed when you choosed to enter mrsm langkawi. all that change.

after that, we barely talked to each other. when i tried to call you, you were busy. so, after awhile i tried to forget you since it looks like that we really were not meant for each other,you with your own things, and me with mine. it broke my heart ever since that,because i never get the chance to say i love you to you. yes, we do things like other couple would do, but we never declared it. your so caught up trying to get so many girls to notice you until you forgotten that you've opened mine to yours.

when i've moved on, couple with other people, you would called me asking me whether its true. obviously, i would say yes. but the way you asked me, as if i've done something wrong. as if, you're asking me to wait for you. when i asked do you have one? you denied it. so, you made me felt guilty. but then, i still kept on coupling with as many people as i want.

seldomly, you will call me asking me how am i doing. but as i said, seldom. like im not that important to you. as if, im just a friend.

it touched my heart when you called me during my spm. at that time i was studying for my biology paper. i couldn't study. so many things that i needed to read and memorised. i was so stressed out, but you were there for me, giving me advised. you even told me that if i was bored and need someone to talk too, i can always call you.you even played the guitar for me to released my stressed. you were my inspiration. i got 1A for biology paper thanks to you. you really come to me on the right time. =D

after that, we became closed. closer than before, at that time i don't know the secret. but as we chatted through ym. i asked you once more, do you have a girlfriend.. you were silent for awhile. and then you replied. you said yes. but its complicated. i was so heart broken since then. i almost when out with you on that day. but i couldnt since my grandma was sicked at that time, so i needed to rush back to my aunty's house in kl. if not, i will definitely fall for you again. it showed that you and i were really not meant for each other. it really opened my eyes.

but now, this raya you wished me slamat ari rya at the last day of rya. i asked you why now, you said you definitely cant be the first because its already late, and wishing me in the middle would be clince and you prefer to be the last. i was speechless. but he was abit upset since i just said okey. he thought that i will be happy. but then i told him that i will remember it. =(.

am i pathetic? am i overeacting? for god sake, he has already has a girlfriend but he keeps doing something that i find it sweet.maybe as a friend right? who am i kidding, he's my first love. everytime he does something sweet to me, it will make me fall for him. i know that if we are destine to be together it will happen also someday. i will wait for it. but if your really not meant for me i hope i will find a better guy than you. someone who can really touches my heart and understand me. not making me wait for you.