stop thinking ~

im constantly thinking about him lately,can i stop doing so. its really hurting me deep down inside. i even cry more often lately. why is this happening to me? is it so hard to feel being in love? i just want someone to love me.thats all, sometimes in life fancy things, branded clothes and expensive materials do not bring the same kind of happiness that you will get as in feeling in love. if i could recall it, it has been approximately two years i've been single. maybe, certain people would say, " hey, whats wrong in being single? you should have fun while it last". yeah. its nice to hear that, you can actually flirt around and all. but sampai bile? i miss being taken care off. i miss being pampered. i miss someone saying to me i love you every single day. maybe, im being insecured to wanting to feel this way. arghhh, i do envy people thats in love because i couldnt get to feel it..=(.

p/s: im a moron to love someone like you, im trying to stop here ( because i know its a good thing for both of us )

me and him.=))

the picture says it all. hahaha. dat funny annoying kiwi draw this for me tonite. aint it funny.hilarious i would say. me, as the annoying orange KENTUT at my annoying kiwi..

hahahaha. sengal gile.. and he said, he will still put a smiley face~!, so sweeeeetttt.. =P

p/s: about the dude yg i mrah in my last post was a mistake i guess. tue lar. perasaan trlebih. dats not actually meant for me.haha. so, i wouldnt have to feel guilty and sorry for that guy. =))

please don't tell me~

the other day, i've posted something about someone being unaware that i already fallen for that someone. suddenly, out of nowhere, a person that i would call it as "bestfren" ask me. is it me?arghh.. i was shocked with his action. i dont really know what to say. maybe, we are close as bf and gf but im really sorry to tell you this that i cant.. i dont feel anything. seriously, i dont. if you are awared that sometimes, you do talked about other girls. and to be franked. sikit pn xde jealousy inside my heart. i even try to give you some tips on how to tackle the gal. aihh. sbar je lar.hurmm. i also dont like you to write something in ym that you love me. please lar. i dont like it. =(

alhamdulillah~!!-

for starters i would like to praise ALLAH for what GOD has given to me. im trully bless by him. im really thankful to him for what he has given to me. he's given me a good health, good family, good friends and most of all that God never tends to forget me. im a human being. sometimes when im happy i tend to forget you, God but you will always find ways for me to come back to you. i don't really give you enough of my zikir, solat sunat and wajib and so on. even so, you always help me when im in trouble and when i just don't have the strength to move on.

thanks again~ for my results. =))

someone.. =(

arrgghh.. it is really bugging me now. hurmm. that person that i like for now is going to post something about he's special someone.hurmm. im doubting its he's mom or dad he's reffering this to. hurmm.. =(. and obviously, im doubting its me... hurmm. im really scared now. hurmm.stupid but yeah im scared now. he's going to post something that he dedicates it to whom he called it as he's "very" special someone this weekend. arghh.. i really really wanna read it so badly now. spare me with my curiosity.at least if i feel sad and miserable, it will only happen now. and i dont have to wait until he posts that thing..arghh.

p/s : im bad in waiting.. and curiosity really bites me off my ass~! =(

if i could tell u these few words of mine...

i would tell you how much i adore u... how much you make me feel safe and secure.. how much i would like to text you every mins of it.. how much i would like to tell u how i feel about you.. how many times in a day that i often think of you.. but, things do not seem to move on that way anymore.. maybe its me.. but maybe its you.. maybe we just grow together as friends.. maybe that is how you actually feel about me for this past few days of us being friends...

you asked me, do i like being friends with you.. i said yes.. because u make me smile and laugh all the time.. but, u did not take it in a positive way.. maybe its hard for you.. maybe its hard for both of us.. if i could just erase all the moments of us doing things together, I WOULD.. even if i never get the chance to know you..

i barely think of other things lately, most of it was about you.. seriously, i hate being in love.. love that i only feel it.. i should just learn to let you go, bit by bit.. until i will not search for you anymore.. maybe that is the best for us..

learning to close my heart.. =*(

~i would like to be a leaf floating in the river, not knowing where it might take me to~

hols~!!! =DD

i fall.. i fall.. without any sign.. i fall.. fallen for someone that i dun think would fall for me.. it happens starting from CNY i guess.. yes.. we both had this wonderful conversation in the ym.. we did WC. It was fun while it lasted.. things happen so fast, until my days is only to chat wif him. he makes me happy.. its actually hard to explain about this feelings. but, apparently, its really hard for me to make him fall for me. i think i should put this barrier in front of me.. so, that i would not always want him to make me happy.. he's goin away this year.. goin overseas.. i cant stand being wif someone thats really far away from me.. =(