tired

masuk kete je bile drive sorang nnges. nabila tak de kje lain ke? asyk nnges je! tolong lar, bncinye! bnci bnci! senang gile ar nnges this week. damn easy. hurmm. :(

sgt takut.

asal ek, tak sedap hati lar. nape ni? takut sangat. hurmm. takut takut. takut sangat sampai rase nak nnges. mama, tak nak balik UM. please. penat lar tmpt tue. penat sgt. tinggal 3 hari je lagi. OMG! kalau boleh putar balik mase dh lame dh buat. hurmm. nak final dh. yup, final. campur sem 1 and 2. serious penat and banyak! macam mane ni. dh lar integrated. soalan pun xpernah tgk and tak pernah tahu mcm mane nak jwap. GOD, please let it be easy. tolong lar. saye tak nak pergi supplement and lagi mintak jauh jauh jauh sangat sangat is repeat year. God, tolong lar. 1st year gile memenatkan and stress. hurmm.

God, please help me.

God, please help me clear up my mind and my uneasy heart. let by gone be by gone. i know im gonna cry and have unstable emotion once in awhile but im letting this go. i know he is better with her. i really hate you when you like her you but you didnt tell me. cakap je lar. xyah nk simpan. paling bnci that part. xtak nak cakap better i move on.

i know that one day, i'll be okay. im stronger than you think. i did make a promise dlu, i told myself that the last guy im going to fall in love is going to be my husband, i guess my mistake kot. never get yourself attach. xper, i will learn.

after this my heart akan jdi keras macam batu!. haha. i will ask my parents to choose for me, they know whats the best for me. i believe in their berkat. berkat ibu and ayah boleh bawa kebahagian smpai mati. i always hold to that.

btul cakap jawahir and his dad, dont fall in love coz it hurts. i should learn that. anis pn ade cakap kalau boleh dia pn xnk couple coz nnti susah je.

i have my supportive family and friends that i really adore. they will help me. as long as you pray, insyaAllah God will help you to the right path. you just have to believe.

ego.

woke up, then, terpk. i mimpi about someone. ade 2 pictures in 2 frames. one with the old potret and the other with the new picture. keep on wondering why did i dream about that. then, opened up fb through phone, i scrolled down the newfeed and suddenly i realised that he removed me. yup, removed me. okay, i did make you upset i guess or dalam otak dia pk like this bebai gile minah nie, dh bpe kali dh dia wat mcm ni kat aku and you are really tired of this. so, i was like wow. removed. 1st time kne removed gan org. hahaha. i guess now only i understand the feeling of being removed from someone's friends' lists.

pk balik, dia removed nmpak sgt tak kisah kan. woke up from my bed head to the fridge cri makanan. reheat pie yg jmpe dlm fridge. pastu call jawahir. he removed me! jawahir xbgus sgt in this kind of situation. dia xske dgr cter about boys, then. at that time i really miss liyana alot! she always knows whats the best advice to give me in such situation. dia slalu handle me dlm bnde mcm ni. cant call her. can only fb her. sdey nak mati!.

pastu, right away call yen and hanisha. ckp trus jdi kuar. mula2 malas. hurmm. konon nk kmas bilik yg amat bersepah tue. pastu, tell them the whole story. the thing is i cant cry at all. i dont feel a thing tp just blur blur sket. pastu, kuar2 pastu diaorg blk umah tlg kmas bililk. haha, thanks sbb tlg kmas. im darn lazy! :D.

pastu, pas diaorg balik mama fetch me dri rumah, pastu ambik aiman and bawak g beli makanan.mama kuar left me and my bro in the car. i told my bro. aiman, bla bla bla... nape dia removed me? i was angry, tp asal plak dia yg removed. one question keeps coming out from my
mind. my bro hold my hand tightly. tak pe nabila tak pe. you will find some other guy. then, dgn mcm tue je i started crying. terer gile my bro! he did it. he made me cry. all day long i felt uneasy. i started crapping. when i like someone i dont look at their faces and money. i look for the heart. why cant he accepted that. then, my bro said your a good girl. i know. you have a good heart but he just didnt see that. he said, in life nabila we must move on, bnde yang happened to us we must move on and let go. sbbkn i dont know how to let you go. i keep on continue being your friend. i keep on coming back eventhough pttnye i should do this long time ago d. there's a part of me hoping for you to change but you didnt. i cant do anything anymore.

then, mama masuk. asl nabila nanges. i diam. haha, my bro said. mama, im sorry i've made her cry. i was like pndai gile my bro back up. huhu. then, balik rumah. went to my room and keep on crying. i guess i need to cry to let it go. i have this heart of cepat xmarah, cepat sdey, cepat mngalah bile i care for someone. i just will like tak pe lar. tak de pape tue. hurmm.

pastu, kuar my room nk makan dinner gan mama. my mom was like asl? i mcm xde pape lar. nape nnges? xde pape. keep ulang byk kali the same question. pastu, last2. nabila gaduh gan bf nabila ke. at that time, mcm nk gelak!. nabila bf pn xde ma. owh, kay.

the end of my sad but happy life story. i guess kalau u did that, nmpak sgt lar dh xksah. so, lgi lar xyah pk dh spptnye. tp sometimes i just miss you but i noe you wouldnt feel the same since you have her d. ksah la plak.

something to share about guys from what my bro told me. laki dia akn kutuk bestfren dia tp diaorg takkn back stab them. once back stab that relationship is over. i dont know how true is that. :)

random facts :)

random facts. sometimes it works for me but sometimes it doesnt. :). i realise that i need to be trigger to be actually funny, perky and fun. haha. so, maybe surroundings do count on creating your personality. :)