you will never understand.

can u please put some effort. do u know how many times perday that i always think of you. i guess more than i think about myself. do you know how everytime after we went out, i will go back in a sad mood and mostly end up crying. do you know if i can wish for anything in this world, one of it is i wish i will never be far apart for you cause im scared im not strong enough. do you know i never cry this much for a guy as i cry for you. do you know that im really scared that one day if we are really not meant for each other, do you what i always ask myself? i always ask myself what should i do? can i ever forget you. do you know, i always long and miss you. all i want to do is to see you. all i want to do is to ask you what you are doing, with whom you with, do you love me? do you care about me and do you miss me?

Do you ever felt all the things that i felt about you? do you know i never care much about a guy then i care about you? do you know what the things that always come into my thoughts involving you? i always think that if one day if im really not meant for you, i want you to be a successful person in life living happily with your wife and family. i always wish your always next to me so that i dont have to miss you that much. do you know, everything that i do i always feel like telling you. do you know, because i love you so much when people ask me to cerita about you, i dont know what to tell cause everything that i see in my eye is one perfect guy that i want as a husband.

do you ever felt that about me? i guees your not. even though i always ask you to this and that, there's always reason for it. i will never ask you to do it if it is not good for you. but you dont even listen to me.

2days in a row!

damn! i think it is because of the rain kot, yeah, rain rain please go away, your making me raining inside too! goshh. gosshh!. byk sgt pk kot. need to buang some thoughts that are not necessary for me to think right now. tough! be tough! yeah, you can do it! you did it before, why cant you do it again right? its not possible. i just need some clear mind for awhile. Allah is really testing me, suddenly i found out that the necklace that i always wear since form4 or 5 is missing it's pendant! :(. so sad. force myself not too cry. waaargghhjhhhhh. i treasure this necklace so much kot. my grandpa gave it to me and byk gile memories with it. dia mcm dh part of me, dh harungi with me all the unstable emotions, happiness and all. warghhhh! sedey gile. aihh. sbar. sbar. sbar. now, i only know the word sbar! some of the stuffs that you told me really make me sad. you prefer other people to have me. you know what, you shouldnt say that. funny, why cant you just accept that sometimes not everything will turn out bad. hurmm. maybe you dont really want me kot. tak pe lar. :)

what am i suppose to do if i miss you?

this weekend smua org balik rumah diaorg. rindu gile kat mama and abah. i miss you too bdk bushuk!. damn, i miss everyone. all i can do is cry. i wanna go back home. tak pe lar. sbar je lar kot. everyone has their own problems i guess. sabar nabila sabar. sabar sikit je lagi. Allah is testing you, sabar je lar.

God, please hear my prayers.

i dont know why, but i feel so tired. all i want to do is cry and scream. nak sangat cakap yang im so tired. like really tired. dah la banyak bnde tak study lagi. somehow, i know your testing my patience. hurmm. like really testing it. can the time freeze for awhile because i think i need to catch some breath. when i feel like giving up, the only thing that keep me going is my parents. i miss them so much. . i need my strong will back. like really need it. i guess when you feel like the world is falling apart, you should always think about things that can keep you moving on. like now, i really need you guys. i want a hugg from you mama. i need that motivational talk that abah always give me. i need you guys . :'(. life would be much simpler if only you guys are always beside me.

tired

masuk kete je bile drive sorang nnges. nabila tak de kje lain ke? asyk nnges je! tolong lar, bncinye! bnci bnci! senang gile ar nnges this week. damn easy. hurmm. :(

sgt takut.

asal ek, tak sedap hati lar. nape ni? takut sangat. hurmm. takut takut. takut sangat sampai rase nak nnges. mama, tak nak balik UM. please. penat lar tmpt tue. penat sgt. tinggal 3 hari je lagi. OMG! kalau boleh putar balik mase dh lame dh buat. hurmm. nak final dh. yup, final. campur sem 1 and 2. serious penat and banyak! macam mane ni. dh lar integrated. soalan pun xpernah tgk and tak pernah tahu mcm mane nak jwap. GOD, please let it be easy. tolong lar. saye tak nak pergi supplement and lagi mintak jauh jauh jauh sangat sangat is repeat year. God, tolong lar. 1st year gile memenatkan and stress. hurmm.

God, please help me.

God, please help me clear up my mind and my uneasy heart. let by gone be by gone. i know im gonna cry and have unstable emotion once in awhile but im letting this go. i know he is better with her. i really hate you when you like her you but you didnt tell me. cakap je lar. xyah nk simpan. paling bnci that part. xtak nak cakap better i move on.

i know that one day, i'll be okay. im stronger than you think. i did make a promise dlu, i told myself that the last guy im going to fall in love is going to be my husband, i guess my mistake kot. never get yourself attach. xper, i will learn.

after this my heart akan jdi keras macam batu!. haha. i will ask my parents to choose for me, they know whats the best for me. i believe in their berkat. berkat ibu and ayah boleh bawa kebahagian smpai mati. i always hold to that.

btul cakap jawahir and his dad, dont fall in love coz it hurts. i should learn that. anis pn ade cakap kalau boleh dia pn xnk couple coz nnti susah je.

i have my supportive family and friends that i really adore. they will help me. as long as you pray, insyaAllah God will help you to the right path. you just have to believe.

ego.

woke up, then, terpk. i mimpi about someone. ade 2 pictures in 2 frames. one with the old potret and the other with the new picture. keep on wondering why did i dream about that. then, opened up fb through phone, i scrolled down the newfeed and suddenly i realised that he removed me. yup, removed me. okay, i did make you upset i guess or dalam otak dia pk like this bebai gile minah nie, dh bpe kali dh dia wat mcm ni kat aku and you are really tired of this. so, i was like wow. removed. 1st time kne removed gan org. hahaha. i guess now only i understand the feeling of being removed from someone's friends' lists.

pk balik, dia removed nmpak sgt tak kisah kan. woke up from my bed head to the fridge cri makanan. reheat pie yg jmpe dlm fridge. pastu call jawahir. he removed me! jawahir xbgus sgt in this kind of situation. dia xske dgr cter about boys, then. at that time i really miss liyana alot! she always knows whats the best advice to give me in such situation. dia slalu handle me dlm bnde mcm ni. cant call her. can only fb her. sdey nak mati!.

pastu, right away call yen and hanisha. ckp trus jdi kuar. mula2 malas. hurmm. konon nk kmas bilik yg amat bersepah tue. pastu, tell them the whole story. the thing is i cant cry at all. i dont feel a thing tp just blur blur sket. pastu, kuar2 pastu diaorg blk umah tlg kmas bililk. haha, thanks sbb tlg kmas. im darn lazy! :D.

pastu, pas diaorg balik mama fetch me dri rumah, pastu ambik aiman and bawak g beli makanan.mama kuar left me and my bro in the car. i told my bro. aiman, bla bla bla... nape dia removed me? i was angry, tp asal plak dia yg removed. one question keeps coming out from my
mind. my bro hold my hand tightly. tak pe nabila tak pe. you will find some other guy. then, dgn mcm tue je i started crying. terer gile my bro! he did it. he made me cry. all day long i felt uneasy. i started crapping. when i like someone i dont look at their faces and money. i look for the heart. why cant he accepted that. then, my bro said your a good girl. i know. you have a good heart but he just didnt see that. he said, in life nabila we must move on, bnde yang happened to us we must move on and let go. sbbkn i dont know how to let you go. i keep on continue being your friend. i keep on coming back eventhough pttnye i should do this long time ago d. there's a part of me hoping for you to change but you didnt. i cant do anything anymore.

then, mama masuk. asl nabila nanges. i diam. haha, my bro said. mama, im sorry i've made her cry. i was like pndai gile my bro back up. huhu. then, balik rumah. went to my room and keep on crying. i guess i need to cry to let it go. i have this heart of cepat xmarah, cepat sdey, cepat mngalah bile i care for someone. i just will like tak pe lar. tak de pape tue. hurmm.

pastu, kuar my room nk makan dinner gan mama. my mom was like asl? i mcm xde pape lar. nape nnges? xde pape. keep ulang byk kali the same question. pastu, last2. nabila gaduh gan bf nabila ke. at that time, mcm nk gelak!. nabila bf pn xde ma. owh, kay.

the end of my sad but happy life story. i guess kalau u did that, nmpak sgt lar dh xksah. so, lgi lar xyah pk dh spptnye. tp sometimes i just miss you but i noe you wouldnt feel the same since you have her d. ksah la plak.

something to share about guys from what my bro told me. laki dia akn kutuk bestfren dia tp diaorg takkn back stab them. once back stab that relationship is over. i dont know how true is that. :)

random facts :)

random facts. sometimes it works for me but sometimes it doesnt. :). i realise that i need to be trigger to be actually funny, perky and fun. haha. so, maybe surroundings do count on creating your personality. :)

when your facing problems, dont rush on things. bersihkan hati dahulu and start on praying. :)

boys and their egos! :)

basic entrepreneurship class

new elective class for this sem regardless of english. okey, basically the lecturer taught us about how to run your business later on and all. so, just now she explained about we need to take a risk if you want to be success in it . she gave this one example, about a guy or a girl confessing his/her love to the person he or she falls too. she said, if the girl or boy is inside the class, dont be embarrassed to confront her and tell her how you feel and ask her or he whether they can get together and get to know each other better. you see, teringat plak psal bdk tue. sengal. hahaha. i was laughing my ass out! like everyone was kay. :D

the thing is she said that mostly people will not do that coz they scared of being embarrassed. suddenly she asked, actually to whom you are embarrass of? is it your friends? are scared of what they gonna think about you? Are their thoughts really do effects you? pelik kan? hahaha. i was thinking like kisah plak lar orang cakap pe. hahaha.

the lecturer said if you never confront you might not know and you will never know. so, basically what i had learned from that class was if you never try you will never know. and once if that person falls for another person you should never regret even so most probably you might coz you yourself didnt take any risk at all.

so, im telling this coz i know you read my blog. honestly to tell you the truth. i know you like her. if you do, you just go for it. hey,it seems like you guys are the perfect match after all and who cares of what i think. you just need to tell me and i move on. thats the easiest part of all.

life dont have to be that complicated. im a simple girl. i like to do simple things and i find that every simple small or minute things that you do to people might effect others. so, just tell me. and dont get scared if i move on coz you have her. she is better for you.

a little bit better

after class. now susun gigi time. :)

yeah, finish class at 4. thanks to the new english teacher, but ,maybe next week we will be finishing at 6. but for now im gonna keep on smilling. :). weekends pls be good to me. :)

is it a good day? hurmm.

okey, today i woke up as usual. not usual lar. i cant wake up. :(. spttnye nk bgun at 6.00 nk study but i cant. sdey. :(. so, bgun kul 7.30. ambik ko! tdo 7 hours and 30mins! bpak ar. mcm bdk2. sbb over here mcm raining je. so, sjuk, so susah nk bgun. nak wat macam mane. aihh. pastu, kelas smua as usual. kay, pastu ptg abes at 3 something like that.

just only teringat kena wat kad matriks. haha. i've lost mine again! damN! if i ckp kat izwan ni msti dia gelak lgi! :(((. kat uitm dh pernah hilang, now over here plak. sedey gile. :(((. cari mcm nak rak dunia. actually, bukan itu saje hilang. ade lain jgak. mcm baju 2 helai and sport shoesss! my new sport shoess! sdey gile. :(((. now, i cant jogg d. lagi ar sdey.

back to wat kad matriks tdi. sakit hati gile ade ke diaorg xtahu mcm mne nk wat. pelik pastu kne g byk placessss! ARgghhh. xksah dh. aslkn i got mine d.. yippppppiiiii! :D.
thanks from the help of my friends kat sni. bdk passum dua org. aihh. baek diaorg tmankn. :DD
rsenye kne blnje diaorg.huhu.

pastu, balik bilik. tiba2 tergaduh gan roomate. :(((((. sdey gile. serious sdey. hurmm. i dunnoe how to feel lar nowdays ade je xkne. like everyday ade je xkne. nak nangis boleh tak? :(((((
penat lar macam ni. aihh.

last week pn wasnt a good one pn, suppose to meet my parents but they didnt come except for abah. i miss my mom actually. hurmm. rase nak nnges sekarang. i can only type it out je but really cant do it here. :'(((((. pastu, i would like to tell someone about things yg i wat every single day. but dunnoe who d. hurmm. so, i can only type it here.

so, actually today wasnt a good day after all. :(. i hope tonight we make it up. jgn lar marah. aku bukannye kisah klu ko xtahu. aku pn xtahu. so, xyah ar marah. hurmm.

nak susun gigi pn dh xde mood. aihh. :((

hari moodyku.

okay, arini bgun pagi2 not in a good mood. aihh, i dont know why. i feel so sick. sedikit flu and headache, but i act feel sicker inside. serious feel sick of everything. i donnoe why. but, i just cant stand it anymore. so, from now on i dont want to have any social life with those yg i xprnh jmpe face to face. im referring it to facebook. sket2 bkk fb, pastu sakit ati. sudahhh. sye xnk sakit hati dh. maybe arini lebih sedikit sbb tgh pms. but still. xleh mcm ni. i need to be positive at all times so that i can focus on my study. pagi2 bkk hp tgk2 calender dh 5TH. OMG! its 5Th d. damn! tinggal btul2 1 month until exm. mmg btul2 dkt exm gile. so really need to focus from now on. pape pn focus! i need to get good results for my parents. need to be stronger each day. motivate myself every single day. korang nnti msti pelik, karang tiba2 i will text all my bestiess from now on. haha. i will do that. dh lar susah nk jmpe. contact pn dh jrang nowdays. so, i should do that since fb dh xde. so,. no social life. :).

arini kaki sakit gile. dh ar jln jauh. hurmm. pastu, tdi almost nk jatuh kat toilet. licin gile. arghh! :(. nsib baek xjatuh karang mmg xleh jln mne dh. arghh! TDAKKK! i need to walk to medic fac smua. lately, belajar through study group mcm easier sket to study. huhu. :)
so, spending time wif my frens kat sni sket. to tell u the truth suddenly i feel like nk SHOPPING! OWHHH, TDAKKK! tolong jgn. tp shopping blog still can. tgk ar mcm mne. :)

password for fb dh bg kat haizan to take care of my account. sbb karang slalu on sgt. pastu, xleh nk stop. lgi2 time weekends. boring duk umah fb je kje. so, klu xde fb ni xyah tahu psal org sgt. mlas nk ambik tahu. baek g tgk tv. :)

from what i've seen. God has put me in this position for me to reflect back all my wrong doings and ask taubat from him. nak tahu. mama cakap, g mintak taubat kat Allah. thats what she said. mungkin banyak sgt dosa. i always wonder why i have so much probs. its act bcoz God wants me to be closer to him.

if you ask me, if i were a boy, spe i will choose as my wife. someone who is slalu jge diri dia properly so that boys cant get to her easily. thats what i always thought and thats what i always tell the boys. kenapa korang suke perempuan mcm nih? sometimes im referring it to me. huhu. guys just donnoe that, the girls yg kdang2 alim2 gile2 tue lar lawa actually. just that they never really show it like the other girls like you see kat luar tue.pakai je seksi smua tp lawa sgt ke actually?

sudah, ape aku merepek ni. kay. haha. tulis lar pjng2 pn nabila not org bce pn. haha. thats the best part. :). dh fb xleh bkk.blog pn jdi lar.

now, my head is spinning of this song. " pack ur bags and walk away. that was nothing i could say ".

da.end.for.now.toodles.then. :)

Shooottt, sakit. kakiku melecittt. :((. dh lar kne jln jauh this week. dang it!